Since this blog is connected to the church website and so, therefore, I feel like most of the time it really should have some sort of "point" to it I am creating another blog called personal ramblings for just the keeping up with life sort of stuff.
You can find it from this blog by clicking on my profile pic and it will take you to where you can find the other one.
http://ruthiesramblings2.blogspot.com/
Thanks! We're all in this together!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Mom comes to visit
Wow...it's been so long since I've written. I think at least two weeks or something like that.
My mom came to visit over the past week. There is enough material in that to fill up a month's worth of blogs. I think today I will just let thoughts flow and see where we end up. So don't expect any great point to this one... LOL
I never would have dreamed that Mom would come here. Her health has prevented it and the doctor wasn't real keen on the idea but my mother is as stubborn as they come and once she gets it in her mind to do something she will do it regardless of what wisdom or anyone else would say.
She had a few things that she wanted to get done before she dies. She had a terminal diagnosis about 4 years ago (6 months, or less, they said). She decided to get everything ready to die - which we did. Then once it was all done she decided she might as well keep living. Go figure.
Mom left me and Dad when I was 11 years old. She had never been quite mentally stable - consistent struggles with depression and anger. Her mother abandoned her when she was a baby and she never quite got over that. Her mother was not a stable person either.
It's hard to know, emotionally, just how to feel about my mom. She wasn't a bad mom at all when she was around. She was actually pretty good at it; I really don't have any bad memories of my childhood relationship with my mother (other than that she was a yeller). But she just wasn't there during so many times that I needed her that the bond really did suffer. I cried myself to sleep so many nights as a teenager - really needing a mom. I know she would liked to have been there - and perhaps would have given anything she had at that point to be there - but the fact remains that due to choices and circumstances she just wasn't there.
I'm not sure which of us felt more pain in that situation - me or her. I know that now, as a mom, I would be devastated to be kept away from my daughters when they needed me, even if I had made bad choices.
I think I'll continue the saga of mom's visit over the next few days. I felt so many different emotions over the past week- joy, pride, sorrow, anger, frustration, confusion, laughter...
It will be interesting to sort through it all!
My mom came to visit over the past week. There is enough material in that to fill up a month's worth of blogs. I think today I will just let thoughts flow and see where we end up. So don't expect any great point to this one... LOL
I never would have dreamed that Mom would come here. Her health has prevented it and the doctor wasn't real keen on the idea but my mother is as stubborn as they come and once she gets it in her mind to do something she will do it regardless of what wisdom or anyone else would say.
She had a few things that she wanted to get done before she dies. She had a terminal diagnosis about 4 years ago (6 months, or less, they said). She decided to get everything ready to die - which we did. Then once it was all done she decided she might as well keep living. Go figure.
Mom left me and Dad when I was 11 years old. She had never been quite mentally stable - consistent struggles with depression and anger. Her mother abandoned her when she was a baby and she never quite got over that. Her mother was not a stable person either.
It's hard to know, emotionally, just how to feel about my mom. She wasn't a bad mom at all when she was around. She was actually pretty good at it; I really don't have any bad memories of my childhood relationship with my mother (other than that she was a yeller). But she just wasn't there during so many times that I needed her that the bond really did suffer. I cried myself to sleep so many nights as a teenager - really needing a mom. I know she would liked to have been there - and perhaps would have given anything she had at that point to be there - but the fact remains that due to choices and circumstances she just wasn't there.
I'm not sure which of us felt more pain in that situation - me or her. I know that now, as a mom, I would be devastated to be kept away from my daughters when they needed me, even if I had made bad choices.
I think I'll continue the saga of mom's visit over the next few days. I felt so many different emotions over the past week- joy, pride, sorrow, anger, frustration, confusion, laughter...
It will be interesting to sort through it all!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Life in the fast lane...
The Eagles used to sing (or maybe they still do?) that "life in the fast lane will slowly make you lose your mind."
It has sure felt like I've been living and driving in that fast lane lately. It seems like I am constantly in the car driving someone somewhere...BUT life is fixing to change forever! As of this coming weekend I should have another driver in the household! YES!!!!!! Erik gets his license this week!!! Great rejoicing!
Some parents dread this moment but I have been looking forward to it for a long time. Another driver to do errands, take siblings to the hundreds of activities they seem to get themselves involved in, make some of the school runs...etc.
I would love to hear from other people who have had a new driver in the house - what was your experience? Good, bad, or indifferent? Do you stay up at night worrying or are you breathing a sigh of relief that they are growing up? Am I kidding myself that this is a momentous moment of joy?
Corrie is already doing a lot of driving with her permit but I have to be with her. In a few days, Erik will be on his own. Watch out, Council Bluffs...here he comes! And I, for one, am proud of him and think he'll do a great job.
(Speaking of job - he better get one to pay for the insurance. YIKES! Good thing he's got good grades!)
It has sure felt like I've been living and driving in that fast lane lately. It seems like I am constantly in the car driving someone somewhere...BUT life is fixing to change forever! As of this coming weekend I should have another driver in the household! YES!!!!!! Erik gets his license this week!!! Great rejoicing!
Some parents dread this moment but I have been looking forward to it for a long time. Another driver to do errands, take siblings to the hundreds of activities they seem to get themselves involved in, make some of the school runs...etc.
I would love to hear from other people who have had a new driver in the house - what was your experience? Good, bad, or indifferent? Do you stay up at night worrying or are you breathing a sigh of relief that they are growing up? Am I kidding myself that this is a momentous moment of joy?
Corrie is already doing a lot of driving with her permit but I have to be with her. In a few days, Erik will be on his own. Watch out, Council Bluffs...here he comes! And I, for one, am proud of him and think he'll do a great job.
(Speaking of job - he better get one to pay for the insurance. YIKES! Good thing he's got good grades!)
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
A wolf and his pack
One of the neat things about being involved with the kids education is that I am reading, re-reading, and finally reading some great literature. I came across this line in Kipling's The Law of the Jungle just this morning:
Now this is the Law of the Jungle -- as old and as true as the sky;
And the Wolf that shall keep it may prosper, but the Wolf that shall break it must die.
As the creeper that girdles the tree-trunk the Law runneth forward and back --
For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.
I've been thinking this morning about the many ways this applies to my family, my church, my job, especially this particular thought: when one suffers we all suffer; when one is successful we all are successful.
The scriptures tell us to"bear one anothers burdens, and in so doing, fulfill the Law of Christ." Sounds pretty close to Kipling's observation of the natural order of the Law of the Jungle.
Lord, help me today to remember the importance of each individual in my "pack" and help me as an individual to so do my part to make my "pack" a bastion of strength in this jungle in which we are living.
Thanks, Rudyard, for a great quote!
We're all in this together!
Now this is the Law of the Jungle -- as old and as true as the sky;
And the Wolf that shall keep it may prosper, but the Wolf that shall break it must die.
As the creeper that girdles the tree-trunk the Law runneth forward and back --
For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.
I've been thinking this morning about the many ways this applies to my family, my church, my job, especially this particular thought: when one suffers we all suffer; when one is successful we all are successful.
The scriptures tell us to"bear one anothers burdens, and in so doing, fulfill the Law of Christ." Sounds pretty close to Kipling's observation of the natural order of the Law of the Jungle.
Lord, help me today to remember the importance of each individual in my "pack" and help me as an individual to so do my part to make my "pack" a bastion of strength in this jungle in which we are living.
Thanks, Rudyard, for a great quote!
We're all in this together!
Friday, October 3, 2008
...rest...
Something has just occurred to me as I returned home after teaching my first period class and then rushing to speak to a group of women at the United Methodist church here in town...I sat down on the couch and realized that I have NOTHING pressing on the schedule for the next 48 hours! Outside of a small presentation (that won't require much prep) Sunday afternoon at the Nazarene church, I AM FREE!
So what shall I do with my time? ...well, I did call a friend who is struggling physically (she goes back to the Dr. on Tuesday and they have mentioned the "C" word: chemo) and she has just found that her daughter - who has very thick hair - has head lice. So I'll spend a few hours "nit-picking" tomorrow for my precious friend who has helped me out in many pinches...make a few phone calls to some people that I have been meaning to get back to and check up on how they are doing...and probably attend the HomeBuilders hayride at Russ and Courtney's folks' house...and tonight I might even finish that movie that I've been working on for the past few weeks ( I just can't seem to stay awake long enough to finish!!!)
I don't even have to prepare for Sunday School!!!
Just some time to spend with the family...
"Thank you, Lord, for these occasional breaks in the schedule! You know when I need them!"
So what shall I do with my time? ...well, I did call a friend who is struggling physically (she goes back to the Dr. on Tuesday and they have mentioned the "C" word: chemo) and she has just found that her daughter - who has very thick hair - has head lice. So I'll spend a few hours "nit-picking" tomorrow for my precious friend who has helped me out in many pinches...make a few phone calls to some people that I have been meaning to get back to and check up on how they are doing...and probably attend the HomeBuilders hayride at Russ and Courtney's folks' house...and tonight I might even finish that movie that I've been working on for the past few weeks ( I just can't seem to stay awake long enough to finish!!!)
I don't even have to prepare for Sunday School!!!
Just some time to spend with the family...
"Thank you, Lord, for these occasional breaks in the schedule! You know when I need them!"
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