In our day of social media, a nineteenth century hymn has some good advice....

My first task today?  Dealing with a self-centered obnoxious person.  I sat down at the computer and was very tempted to write a facebook post sharing my frustration.  After all, if I had to start Monday morning dealing with someone's obnoxiousness the least I could do was share the experience with the 2000-some friends who share my page, right?

While foraging through my emotion-muddled vocabulary to find the right words to share my thoughts, a tune filtered through the fog to my mind...and with the tune came the words associated with it.

Edmund Lorenz, author of "Tell it To Jesus"

"Are you weary? Are you heavy-hearted?
Tell it to Jesus, Tell it to Jesus
Are you grieving over joys departed?
Tell it to Jesus alone.

Do the tears flow down your cheeks unbidden?
Tell it to Jesus, Tell it to Jesus
Have you sins that to men's eyes are hidden?
Tell it to Jesus alone.

Tell it to Jesus, Tell it to Jesus
He is a Friend that's well known
You've no other such a Friend or brother
Tell it to Jesus alone."

In the social media driven world in which we live, if we are not careful, we can begin to view the events of our lives as status updates and tweets, publicizing the pettiest events with anyone who cares to listen. We need reminding that not every frustration, emotion, struggle, and detail of our lives is for public consumption.  Often, we share simply out of the very real need for camaraderie in this world of isolated togetherness.

But I wonder, sometimes, if in our rush to share with everyone else we miss out on the camaraderie of the deep spiritual intimacy that results from following the counsel in those five little words: Tell it to Jesus alone.

Alright...now it's time to turn off the computer screen and do just that.

Memories of My Daughter On Her 20th Birthday

20. In family devotions asking her to come up with a Scripture that reminded her of her brother and she choose John 10:20 "He hath a demon and is mad. Why listen to him?"
19. The time she spent her hard earned money to buy me a singing card for Mother's Day and presented me with a lovely card of Merle Haggard singing, "Mama Tried."
18. The time she consented to lead a song during worship and blew us all away with that great voice of hers.
17. When she was 4 and hid up in the tree for about an hour and watched us while we searched the entire neighborhood for her.
16. When we started foster care and discovered that she is an absolute natural with a baby in her arms and a toddler on her hip.
15. When I realized that she is indispensable for throwing a dinner party because she has a great eye for details and order and instinctively knows where to put all the utensils and dishes for a beautiful table.
14. The music that she fills the house with on the piano and the guitar...even though she likes to do it in the basement where she thinks no one is listening...I still turn things off upstairs just so I can hear her.
13. The way she loves to sneak up on people and take pictures of them while they are sleeping.
12. The braces she got in 8th grade (the exact same day that she had a speaking part in the school program) and how concerned she was that she would still have them in college....she got them off just before HS graduation....and we had a supper that night of popcorn, nachos, gum, and Doritos.
11. How she loves to decorate the Christmas tree JUST RIGHT.
10. How excited she was to purchase her first car that she paid for in cash with her own money that she had worked hard to earn.
9. The way she very bravely tackled her fear of strangers and different places and spent a summer living in a basement on the south-side of Chicago doing outreaches in Ford Heights and Chicago Heights...and learning to love another culture.
8. How she convinced me that I needed to begin painting my toenails at age 43 and then painted them for me - taking great care to choose a color that didn't make me look too "worldly."
7. How she would not hit the buzzer in JBQ even though she knew every one of the answers and when, during a time out, I promised her ice cream if she would answer a question she jumped in and answered the very next question....and then never hit the buzzer again.
6. The time she took the initiative to join the high school med program at University of Nebraska Med Center and learned about all the different opportunities available to her and came home very proud of the banana that she had expertly sutured.
5. Her incredible ability to be extremely nervous about doing something and then stand up and pull it off without even breaking a sweat.
4. Her personal drive to enroll in and fund her training as a certified nurses assistant while she was still in high school and the incredible value that she brings to her job at Fox Run Assisted Living Center....and the conscientious way she does her job and loves on her residents.
3. How she loved Spam and prunes as a kid.
2. The mother/daughter trip we took to Italy to fulfill a dream of climbing Mt. Vesuvius and the bravery that she showed in staying there after I went home in order to help out some kids that she really cares out.
1. The day she was born...and they placed a beautiful blond hair blue-eyes baby in my arms after a fairly easy labor...and I knew that I was just beginning the adventure of being a mother with a daughter...who is so very different and yet so very much like me.

The memories are just beginning, my precious daughter...never stop dreaming and, in God's time and God's plan, never stop running after those dreams.

You is kind. You is smart. You is important.

Me and Jonathan Edward's - Resolution #1

I have always been a New Year's Resolution type person because I love setting new goals and having something to use as a tool to evaluate my progress. Some resolutions get repeated every year, some get tweaked, some serve their time and are crossed off the list, and some are just ridiculous and get tossed by January 21. For the past 4 years I have had at least one resolution that has stayed the same: to be more fun. I mentioned this one to the children at breakfast recently to see how I was doing. I, personally, felt that I had been more fun but, apparently, the children didn't notice. Note to self: have more fun WITH children in 2013...or at least when they're watching.

I also like to read through other people's resolutions. Sounds voyeuristic, I know, but you can learn an awful lot about another person by looking at their immediate and long-term goals. I have a framed print in my office of 70 Resolutions of Jonathan Edwards, pastor and theologian of the First Great Awakening. He wrote these over the years of 1722 and 1723.


I read one or two of these every day.  Some of them I really identify with, some are hard to understand, and some I don't even like.  Since one of the resolutions that I have completely ignored this year is to be more faithful with blog writing I am going to try a brief weekly post on each of these resolutions - for my own benefit and anyone else who stumbles across them.

His first resolution is this: "Resolved, that I will do whatsoever I think to be most to God's glory, and my own good, profit and pleasure, in the whole of my duration, without any consideration of the time, whether now, or never so many myriad's of ages hence. Resolved to do whatever I think to be my duty and most for the good and advantage of mankind in general. Resolved to do this, whatever difficulties I meet with how many and how great soever."

I like the way he puts the priority of his decision making: 1. Is this to the glory of God? If no, then cross it off the list. If yes, move on to question 2. Is this to my own good? It may be for the glory of God but is this something that God has given to ME to do? If no, then cross it off my list for the time being or delegate it on to someone else or make it a matter of prayer that the right person will take it on. If it is something that I should do then question 3 comes into play: How do I do it in a way that it works for the most good for the advantage of mankind in general?

So, here's a resolution for me on April 22, 2013: Resolved, to make my decisions about my time based on three things - 1. God's glory 2. My personal place and priorities as I understand them and 3. To do those things in a way that would be of the best advantage for others.

...including blogging.

An Open Letter to My Politically Minded Friends Who Also Happen to Be Christians

Dear friends,

Scrolling through my facebook news feed this morning and reading our morning greetings to the world around us I wondered what our Lord must think of the things we say and write.   I know that the political environment in which we find ourselves is not what so many of us want for our country.  Many of my dear friends are frightened, concerned, and, yes, angered by policies being established for us.

But I feel that I must speak out on an issue that concerns us and the way we represent Christ in the public square.

As an American I have the right of free speech granted to me by the first amendment in the Bill of Rights. This must be treasured, protected, and defended.

However, as a Christian, my highest authority of belief and conduct is not the Constitution of the United States. It is the Bible....and the Bible specifically puts limits on my freedom of speech. As an American, I have the right to be rude, offensive, disrespectful, and obnoxious.  As a Christian, I do not.

As a Christian, the following boundaries are placed on my speech:

1.  Spreading slander is not part of the Christian's freedom of speech.

Proverbs 10:18-20
He who conceals his hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool. When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.

Proverbs 12:17-19
A truthful witness gives honest testimony, but a false witness tells lies. Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment.

Colossians 3:8
But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.

FOLKS, LISTEN!  Starbucks has not refused to send coffee to Marines. Barack Obama was not sworn into office with his hand on the Koran nor has he sworn to replace the National Anthem with "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing." Parents who lost their children in the school shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary were NOT paid actors carrying off an elaborate hoax. These are all SLANDEROUS lies....and when we pass them on with either our mouths or our keyboards we are involved in SINFUL behavior. Careless use of the "share" button does not please our Lord.

2.  Coarse joking is not part of the Christian's freedom of speech.

Ephesians 5:4
Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.

Proverbs 26:18,19
Just as damaging as a madman shooting a deadly weapon  is someone who lies to a friend and then says, “I was only joking.”

I love humor and I agree with many of you that "political correctness" has gone too far.  But I also must remember that humor does not excuse rudeness. As Christians, many of us would be offended at a post objectifying beautiful women's bodies in a tacky manner for entertainment.  Good for us!  But we will then post unflattering pictures of Hillary Clinton or Michelle Obama and say something like "Sure glad I don't have to go home and look at that every night."  Yes, I know that you are "only joking" but funny or not, posts like that are rude, distasteful, unhelpful to our cause, and unChristlike.  What must Natasha and Malia Obama think of Christ after the way Christians have spoken about their parents?  Are they laughing along with us?  Probably not.  Let's not make Christ and Christianity unattractive and then excuse it by saying "it was only a joke."  I'm not sure God is laughing.

3.  Disrespectful and hateful words are not part of the Christian's freedom of speech.

Proverbs 15:1-2
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.

Ephesians 4:15
Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.

Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Speaking disrespectfully (such as making fun of a person's name or the way they look) will not win anyone to our cause. It does not make us look clever.  It makes us look mean.  Words like "faggot, nigger, dyke, slut," etc have no place coming out of the mouth or the keyboard of a Christian.  If we want to make people angry at us and turn off any chance of hearing what we have to say the best way to accomplish that goal is to start off by calling them rude names.

(Side note:  Did Jesus use "name-calling" in His speech?  Such as "hypocrite, viper" etc?  Yes, He did. He used these names as reflections of the character of those with whom He was speaking.  But before we follow Jesus in this practice we need to make sure of three things: 1. We are able to read as accurately as Jesus did the genuine character of people. 2. We do not use these names in malice.  3.  We do it directly to their face and not in a back-handed way on social media.)

4. "Tit for Tat" conversation is not part of the Christian's freedom of speech.

Proverbs 15:28
The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.

1 Corinthians 2:13
This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words.

1 Peter 3:9-11
Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it.

We have come to believe that someone else's rude behavior justifies our own.  But, according to the Scriptures, we are not free to just gush out words based on our emotions.  We are to weigh our words - thinking about how their weight will affect the person on whom we are pouring them.  We do not respond with the same tactics as those who do not know Christ.  They are not bound to Christ and, therefore, have some freedoms in speech that we do not. They are free to call us vulgar names, slander us, and mock our beliefs.  We are NOT free to respond in like fashion because we are bound to Christ.  When we carry His name by claiming the title "Christian" we are bound to represent Him in word and action....even on social media.

5.  Blessing God while cursing men is not part of the Christian's freedom of speech.

James 1:26
If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.

James 3:9-10
With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.

Posting a status update ragging on the people who work with me and then following it up with a post that says "I have the joy of the Lord today!" just rings shallow to people.  It doesn't work.  I shudder when I think that one day I will stand before God knowing that I "will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word" I have spoken.  THIS knowledge of my own accountability before God concerns me WAY more than President Obama's policies and legalization of same-sex marriage.


In summary, Titus 2:10 tells me that I should live in such a way that I "will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive."  Since I take the title "Christian" and my name is connected with that of Christ I am under obligation to make Him attractive by the way I present Him through my own life.  This has caused me on many occasions to have to ask forgiveness for the way I have behaved and spoken.

I want my words to "sustain the weary," "nourish many," and "instruct in righteousness." Because of that I cannot refrain from speaking what I believe from God's Word to be true.  After all, "he who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor than he who has a flattering tongue"  but I must, somehow under the influence of the Holy Spirit, learn to do it in such a way that my conversation is "always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that (I) may know how to answer everyone" in a way that will cause them to actually listen rather than shut me out because I'm acting like a jerk.

Yes, as an American who has the privilege of having a facebook account, a blog, and a Twitter feed I have full freedom of speech.  But, as a Christian, that freedom is limited to the boundaries of Scripture which instructs me in Titus 2: 7,8 that I must "set an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us."

Will people say bad things about me even if I try to speak as a biblically minded Christian?  SURE! But when they do I want it to be because they are taking issue with the Truth of my statements and not just because I'm acting like an idiotic nitwit. (Hmmm....I wonder if that would count as name-calling.)    :)

Anyway, let us remember today that "the power of life and death is in the tongue"....and in the keyboard.  :)

Love you, guys...we're all in this together!

Facebook Flirting: Why I'm in Favor of It

Recently I did a series of status updates on my Facebook entitled “Countdown to Valentine’s Day: Things I Love about My Husband.” Each day I posted something that I appreciate about Shawn and shared it with my friends on the site.

Early into the “countdown” one of the young girls that I meet with for mentoring mentioned to me that it was a little creepy to see married people flirting with each other. She said that it seemed normal to see her single friends posting flirty, or even downright suggestive, comments to each other but, somehow, it seemed wrong for married people. After all, once you’re married isn’t all of that kind of nonsense supposed to stop? You need to get on to the serious business of life – like jobs, mortgages, children, and in-law arguments. If marriage were any fun, “Sex and the City” would not have been about single people, right?

So, here’s my thoughts on “The Top Five Reasons I Flirt (with my husband) on Facebook.”

5. It is a protection for the purity of my marriage. Facebook has come under a lot of fire (and rightfully so) as being a tool for adulterous affairs. The last three court cases I attended regarding family issues included evidence presented from facebook posts. Because of the inherent dangers in this social media site I feel that it is important that I make it clear to those I communicate with that I am a married woman…and a happily married one, at that. Speaking positively about and to my husband, publicly, is one way to make sure there is a “Not Available’ sign on my wall.

4. I want my children to see that their family is secure because their parents are secure. Too many children grow up under the consistent fear that the foundation of their home – their parent’s marriage – is hanging by a tenuous thread. Shawn and I have tried to make sure that they see a healthy and playful interaction between their parents so that they can bypass the all too common anxiety of the divorce culture and can go freely about the business of simply growing up. Besides, I want my kids to know what a good marriage looks like so they can avoid a bad one. When my girls marry I want them to know how to treat a man because of what they saw at home.

3. I want to leave the next generation with the message that marriage is a GOOD thing. We are raising kids in a culture that has caused so many to discount marriage altogether. What many have seen of marriage has caused them to want to avoid it rather than anticipate it. Television, movies, and music all make romance seem so steamy and exciting – for singles. But married people? They argue, cheat on each other, are usually sexually frustrated….and downright boring. We send them a message that says marriage is NOT worth waiting for…single people have all the fun. That’s a dangerous message and I want my marriage to show that two people can marry, have children, jobs, mortgages, and two decades of sleeping with the same person and still love it!

2. I want my church congregation to know that their pastors have a healthy marriage. Far too many churches have been devastated by pastoral marital failures and when one pastor fails it makes congregants wonder if all is well in their own church parsonage. Publicly enjoying my marriage can help to quench that fear, and it models to couples in our church the value of the sanctity of marriage. It also reminds our church friends that we are just a regular man and woman on this journey of life along with them. We really don’t live in a monastery; we can identify with all of the joys and struggles that every couple goes through.

And the number one reason I flirt with my husband….

1. My husband likes it. As women we must remember that the way to a man’s heart is not through his stomach; it is through his ego. Men love to hear that they are needed, respected, valued, and desirable...and they like it when their woman says publicly “I’m proud of my man.” I don’t want one of those marriages where you just co-exist until you die. I want to enjoy my man…and I want him to enjoy me.

So there you have it, my dear young friend. In a world with a 50% divorce rate, and public figures from Hollywood to Washington, DC publicly scandalizing lifelong monogamous commitment, one of my goals is to show your generation that marriage really is still not only doable but enjoyable.

Letter to My Son on His 20th Birthday

Dear Son,

Today is your 20th birthday. Never would I have imagined, when you were a toddler, that for your 20th birthday you would request baby wipes, socks, and beef jerky for your gift. Birthdays on the battlefield must be different than we knew them here at home. I don't know if there is a cake in your MRE or if anyone will sing in your honor but know that we are thinking of you at home and will be celebrating you...even if you are not here.

Over the past several years you and I have often communicated through shared literature. For your birthday this year, I wanted to pass on some thoughts from the pen of the Bard of Avon (Hamlet, Act 1, Scene 3) with some of my own thoughts grafted in with his. There is nothing new here...nothing you have not heard from me for many years...but, on your birthday, I wanted to share with you once again some life lessons from literature.

The setting, as you know, is the departure of Laertes for education in Paris. His father, Polonius, gives him advice on living and learning in this collection of proverbs.

Yet here, Laertes? Aboard, aboard, for shame!
The wind sits in the shoulder of your sail,
And you are stay'd for. There, my blessing with thee.
And these few precepts in thy memory

(This is one of the hard parts of parenting, son...encouraging our children to leave us and seek their own fortune. Polonius looks at his son and says "Are you still here? For shame!" When the wind is in your sail you must learn this: The opportunity of a lifetime must be taken during the lifetime of that opportunity. It is to our shame if our ship is ready to sail and we are not ready to sail with it. The wise parent recognizes this and gives their blessings...and a few precepts to remember along the way. )

See thou character.

(It is among your main responsibilities, son, to see to your own character. This is not the job of others. This discipline belongs to you alone. In all of your learning and growing and gaining and seeking do not neglect the wisdom of self-discipline in building your character. Reputation is what others think of you; character shows what you think of yourself. Remember that the choices you make today you will have to sleep with tonight...and must accept the positive or negative consequences of tomorrow.

Give thy thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportion'd thought his act.

(Not every thought we think needs to be spoken and not every thought needs to be acted upon. When the mind is thinking it is talking to itself. Others do not always need to join the conversation. Let your words be few and your actions be well thought out.)

Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar.
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch'd, unfledged comrade.

(Make it a habit to be friendly to all, son, but never let your desire for friendship bring down your character. Do not spend a lot of money trying to impress each new person to come along. Know the difference between friends and acquaintances. Lasting friendships in life are few and because of their rarity are all the more valuable. Those friendships that have been tested and found true will be an anchor for you when you feel adrift...do all you can to nurture those friendships with bonds of steel.)

Beware of entrance to a quarrel; but being in,
bear't that the opposed may beware of thee.

(Be slow to get into a quarrel but once you are in it see it through to the end and fight like a man in such a way that others will know that you are a man to be contended with.)

Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgment.

(Do more listening than talking...and when others come to you with criticism, take it with grace, evaluate it, learn from it and make course corrections when needed. But, as for you, do not be one that is quick to criticize others. Let your judgment be reserved for the important things in life and don't be one of those who goes about annoying everyone by trying to correct them.

Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man,
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are of a most select and generous, chief in that.

(Your choice of attire says much about you. Dress well but don't be ostentatious. Learn to be moderate and to dress for the occasion. It is true that God looks on the heart of a man but others around him will base much of their evaluation on his outward presentation. Dress in a manner commensurate with the man you seek to be. )

Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.

(Learn to manage your money well, son. Debt is the bane of existence for so many young men and women at your stage in life...and even later. Do not spend more than you earn. Keep this in mind should you ever want to make a loan to a friend: Oftentimes, the money cannot be repaid and then you lose both the money, and likely, the friend. This is true for your own borrowing, as well. Better yet, learn to be a saver and a planner. Anticipate your needs and save accordingly. Learn to anticipate the 'surprises' in life. Keep enough in reserve so that life's suprises do not lead you into debt. Ignoring this common sense advice is the reason our country is in so much economic danger today.)

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

(Son, for twenty years you have listened to your father and to your mother and to the other authorities in your life but, remember this, YOU must choose the direction of your life, your calling, your mission. God has designed you for a purpose. When you are true to that purpose you will find and fulfill your greatest destiny and will be truly the man that God intended you to be. When you are aware of your own value, knowing that you bear the stamp of originality from the Master Craftsman, there will be no fear that your character and integrity would view any of His creations as less than that same ideal.)

Farewell. My blessing season this in thee!

(Vale, fili mi. Benedictio patris et matris tuae et docebit vos facere per annos. Amo te.)

Is Alzheimers Really a Valid Excuse for Divorce?

I was floored this morning to read this article on the editorial page of Christianity Today: "Pat Robertson Says Divorce Okay if Spouse Has Alzheimers."

I agree that Alzheimers is one of the most difficult of diseases. It is a diagnosis that is, perhaps, even harder on the family than it is on the patient. One friend recently shared with me, "We've always dreamed of these years in our lives when we would just sit on the porch together and talk about the memories of the kids and our lives together. Now we do sit on the porch together...but only one of us has the memories. It's a lonely feeling. There is no one to share the memories with."

Heartbreaking? Absolutely! I have often wondered how I would respond if something happened to my husband, Shawn, and he was no longer able to be the man I married. A car accident could leave him a paraplegic in a moment. A disease could ravage his body. Not only would I be without the "man I married" but I would have the added responsibilities of taking care of him day in and day out with very little promise, if any, of him being able to meet my needs in return. How would I react? Could I do it? How would I handle the loneliness? Would I resent the time, energy, and effort to care for him? Would I become bitter because I was "missing out on life" by taking care of someone who would never be able to do one thing for me? Tough questions about my commitment and my very character.

This gets me thinking...as a Christian (someone who lives under the Lordship of Christ) when I came to Jesus he looked directly at me through his Word and said, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." What does it look like to live that out in relation to these questions above?

We tend to think about "taking up our cross" and "denying ourselves" as one big spiritual sacrifice that we make, then we're done with...like giving our car to a needy family or running into a burning building to rescue a child.

But, in reality, denying ourselves and taking up our cross is something that we do every day. It is a thousand little sacrifices, a lifetime of unnoticed acts, which cumulatively become huge. It's a man who loves his paralyzed wife for forty years by saying no to his sexual desires daily and dumping her bag of urine three times a day because he loves her as Christ loves the Church. It is a woman who never gets a full nights sleep because she gets up six times a night to reassure a frightened husband that he is alright - a husband who hasn't recognized her for years and hasn't spoken a kind word to her in months due to the loss of his mental faculties.

We have somewhere gotten the idea that the goal of marriage is our own personal fulfillment and when marriage no longer gives us personal satisfaction it is okay to abandon our vows of "better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health."

Think with me for just a minute....what if God's design for marriage was less about meeting my needs and more about being a reflection of His relationship with humankind? What if, as Paul said, the husband loves his wife as Christ loves the Church? What if Jesus loved the Church in the way that Mr. Robertson espouses in this article...abandoning us when we no longer fulfill His needs? That sounds unthinkable....and yet this is played out in our Christian homes far too often.

Taking up our cross daily and denying ourselves is not just about the person who dies in the coliseum in one triumphant hour torn apart by lions because he refused to deny Christ. It is about the daily choices I make in each part of my life...including my marriage. "Lord, please strengthen and empower me to be just that kind of person. I can't do it on my own."

On a side note - The Bible also talks to us about "bearing one anothers burdens." Mr. Robertson does make a very important point about the need for companionship. The frustration that I feel at his statement should also prompt me to offer true friendship and regular fellowship to those spouses who have, for all intents and purposes, 'lost' their spouse in this way. Their road is a lonely and often a long one - let's make sure that they have companionship of another kind so their burden is not too much to bear by themselves.

My Prayer Tonight As I Embark On a New Ministry Endeavor

Lord, I desperately need You. Your words "without Me you can do nothing" ring in my heart, soul, and spirit in this moment.

When I am discouraged in my ministry and full of doubts of myself, please anchor me to the rock of Your eternal election and remind me of Your words, "My gifts and callings are without repentance." If I can just be ever mindful that my calling comes from You alone and it is You before whom I will stand and give account then my heart will be encouraged and I shall have hope...for I have known Your grace and would willingly throw myself at Your feet, even in judgment, for You are Just and Merciful. I am accountable to You, Lord. Give me grace to stand transparent before You as a workman that does not need to be ashamed.

Keep my eyes off of man and focused intently on You.

Lord, keep me from thinking of myself or my work too highly. I know that in myself I am nothing but sin and weakness. In me no good thing dwells and my best works are but filthy rags. Humble me before You and keep me humble before others. Keep me ever sensible of my sinnership...and mindful of Your righteousness. Keep, also, those around me mindful that I am but human and, as such, will have the failings and needs common to humanity.

When the Dagon of pride rises up within me, break it before the Ark of Your Presence. Help me to live, walk, and emanate that Presence in the things I say, think, and do. May my confidence be God-confidence and not self-confidence.

Let grace be my experience and my cry. I am such a poor, weak creature when Faith is not in exercise; I am like an eagle with clipped wings who cannot soar to the heights for which it was designed. Let Your grace and mercy build my Faith and lift me up above the shadowlands to the heights for which I am created.

Grant to me to rest on Your power and faithfulness and to know that there are causes worthy of my own small power and faithfulness. Those causes are to bring glory and pleasure to You and to do good to the souls and bodies of those you have placed around me. Teach me how to live in that place where Scripture and culture intersect and to understand the times in which I live and to have wisdom to transform knowledge into godly action.

Lord, You know Your people by name, and YOU will at YOUR appointed season lead them out of a natural state to a gracious sanctified state at YOUR calling. Help me not to rush ahead of You or lag behind You but to keep gently in step with Your Spirit. To see YOUR people at the place that YOU have ordained for them is the object of my desire and the motivation of my ministry.

Lord, at this moment in time, this task before me is my ministry, my life, my prayer, my purpose.

Grant me grace that I shall not fail You.

Louis Armstrong's "It's A Wonderful World" and the Momentous Year of 1968

One of my sweet young friends got me to thinking today when she posted this facebook status: "And I think to myself what a wonderful world" yeah sure, maybe for you Louis Armstrong... but that was in 1968... wonder if you would say the same now days?"

That date "1968" stood out in mind for a number of reasons and it got me researching...what WAS Louis Armstrong seeing in the world around him when he released the lyrics to "It's a Wonderful World"?

Well, for starters, if he was listening to his radio or watching TV he would have heard the following news stories...all within that momentous year:

January 31, 1968: Televised coverage of the Tet Offensive in Vietnam begins to shift opinion and anti-war & anti-military protests take on new passion.

Feb 8, 1968: Police fire into a crowd protesting the segregation of a bowling alley in SC. 3 killed, 27 injured.

March 8, 1968: 15,000 students in Los Angeles stage the Chicano Blowouts - the largest high school protest in history.

March 16, 1968: US Troops kill 500 unarmed Vietnamese civilians in My Lai prompting world wide outrage at America and its military.

March 19, 1968: Students shut down Howard University in mass protest.

April 4, 1968: James Earl Ray assassinates MLK, Jr in Memphis.

April 6, 1968: Several shot dead in a shootout between Oakland police and the Black Panthers.

April 23, 1968: Columbia University shuts down and more than 700 students arrested.

June 5, 1968: Sirhan B. Sirhan shoots Presidential candidate and US Senator, Bobby Kennedy.

August 20, 1968: Soviet Union invades Czechoslovakia following months of street demonstrations about democracy. Fears of Cold War and Soviet aggression are renewed.

August 26, 1968: Anti-war protesters hold a rioting spree at the Democratic National Convention in Chicago. The "Chicago 7" arrested.

October 16, 1968: American athletes and and world record holders, Tommie Smith and John Carlos raise the symbol of the Black Panthers in protest during the playing of the Star Spangled Banner at the World Olympics and are expelled from the Olympic community.

December 23, 1968: North Koreans finally release 82 crew members of the USS Pueblo after 11 months of accusations of spying.

December 25, 1968: President Johnson approves airlift of aid to Nigeria where almost 1 million Nigerians have died due to starvation.

Sooo...what was Armstrong seeing in 1968? Fear, starvation, dissension, prejudice, murder, war, mayhem, protests, segregation...and yet he was still able to look around him and see beauty in the world.

Just a couple things we can learn from this: 1. The more things change the more they stay the same. 2. The "good old days" had their share of bad because we live in a fallen world and 3. We will usually see the things we are looking for.

So, for today, regardless of what the news reports are, remember those words sung by a black man born in the south at the height of the Jim Crow laws, a grandson of slaves and abandoned by his father.... and sing along with Louis Armstrong as YOU look for the beauty in the world around you.

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
They're really saying I love you.

I hear babies crying, I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll never know
And I think to myself what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world.

A Letter to My Soldier Son on His First Veteran's Day

Dear Son,

Today, November 11, 2010, is your first Veteran's Day as a soldier in the United States Army.

I have a great admiration for both our veterans and active duty soldiers. When I see a soldier in a public place, if appropriate, I tell him how much I appreciate his service to our country. I think this embarrasses some of them but I can tell that it also makes them proud. This will happen to you, son, and when it does accept the gratefulness of your fellow countrymen with dignity and humility but never put off their gratefulness as if it were no big deal. It is a big deal.

I was thinking this morning about you and I thought of Isaiah 6:8. You remember the context: Isaiah was in the temple and in a vision he heard the Lord say, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?" And he replied, "Here I am! Send me!"

This brought to mind the long line of American soldiers throughout history who have heard the call of duty and responded.

When the tyranny of the British Crown became unbearable for the colonists in 1775, a fledging nation appealed to its citizens, "Whom shall I send?" Thousands of untrained patriot farmers, smiths, and merchants answered, "Here I am! Send me!"

In 1812, when the British were capturing American citizens and forcing them to serve on their warships, again the call went out "Who will go for us?" And the American soldier said, "Here I am! Send me!"

When the annexation of Texas came under question, President Polk sent a call out to the American people, "Whom shall I send?" Men from all over the east trekked their way west with the response, "Here I am! Send me!"

In those dark days in the mid-1800's when brother fought brother, and the call came from the north and from the south, "Who will go for us?", it was answered by old men, young men, black men and white men who stepped forward to fight for a cause they believed in, answering, "Here I am! Send me!"

After the sinking of the Maine in 1898 and American involvement in a war with Spain, men like one of your heroes, Teddy Roosevelt, needed a volunteer band of infantry and cavalrymen. Once again the American soldier said, "Here I am! Send me!"

In World War I and World War II, a call came from across the ocean for men to fight in The Great Wars...wars they hoped would end all wars. Uncle Sam told thousands of young men, "I want you to go for us." The American solider responded valiantly and bravely said, "Here I am. Send me!"

During the Korean and Vietnam Wars, thousands of American men and women received the call from their country to fight in a war that they didn't understand and that, to many of them, didn't seem right. Yet they did their duty: "Here I am. Send me."

Now we are engaged in a war that has no foreseeable end in a place that seems forsaken by God and embroiled in centuries long disputes that make no sense to the American mind. And yet the call still goes on..."Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?"

Throughout our history, most of our soldiers have been volunteers and today in 2010 every single one of our soldiers has joined the military by choice. The American soldier, time and time again, has said, "Here I am. Send me."

You, my dear son, are a member of that elite group who has heard the call of your country and responded with those affirmative words. You have stood and publicly stated, ""I, Erik Oberg, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God."

And you did it voluntarily. "Here I am! Send me!"

And you do not do it alone. Your father, your little sisters, and I sleep safely tonight in a free country because millions of other fathers, mothers, sisters, husbands, wives, brothers, sons and daughters - some of America's finest - stand ready to be deployed to any trouble spot in the world. You are privileged to walk among the future heroes of this land. They are not rock stars or movie actors who play at being heroes. Our soldiers - both men and women - are the real thing. They have responded to the call with "Here I am! Send me!"

My beloved son, in whom I am well pleased...I am proud that you stand among them.

Happy Veteran's Day! Know that your mama never ceases to love and pray for you.

Ad virtutem per sapientiam,
Mom

A Recent Entry from My Journal: Struggling with Sin

In the words of a Gaither song, "God has blessed me...and the doubts have been few."

There has always been a reason to believe...and to obey.

But, over the past year, I have found myself tempted to flagrantly run away from His will. I have deeply desired a short reprieve from walking on a hard path that He has chosen for me. I have struggled with a battle to give in to temptation to meet my needs in ways outside of what He has clearly revealed to be His will for my life. I have asked Him "Why?" "Why am I struggling with this issue so intently? Why am I so discontent with Your provision?"

God's commands are spiritual - but I'm sure not. I am so often very carnal. I've lived so long in a sinful world that it has become a part of who I am. I was born to it.

I want to follow God and yet I find myself desiring and doing things that I despise. The problem is not that I do not know God's will for this situation. The problem is that I do not really want to do it. I desire God's will but not all the time. When I decide to do good...I don't always follow through on it. When I decide not to do bad...I often find myself doing it anyway. The power of sin within me continues to sabotage my best intentions and I find, once again, that I obviously need help. I don't have what it takes.

I truly delight in God's commands but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. There is a part of me that covertly rebels - and then, when I let my guard down, those desires take charge. In the words of that great country philosopher, Charlie Daniels, "When I have a choice between good and bad I pick bad two out of three."

"I know it's wrong...but I want it." Sigh...what to do?

The reality is that I cannot save myself from this. I cannot sanctify myself any more than I could justify myself. Just as I could not redeem myself from sin I find that I cannot keep myself from sin. I thank God that it is Jesus Christ who can and does save me. It is His righteousness and not my filthy rags of works that I depend on....and His incredible mercy and grace that remembers that I am just dust.

And, if I may be so bold, I think that my Father is pleased that even when I am so pulled by the influence of sin I still crawl back to Him and ask for His help even though He knows that I really DON'T WANT to do things His way. He is still pleased that I have crawled to Him even if it is just to beg for help to be willing to be made willing to obey.

He loves me and I can come to Him. He knows that even though I no longer desire His will in this I still intend to do it. He wants me to learn to walk with Him; and if only the will to walk is there then, perhaps, He is pleased with me even when I stumble.

The key is not in my abundance of desire for God's will but in my steadfast decision to do it anyway.

There is something in me that continues to hold on to Him even when it seems that all I am holding onto is the sheer will to continue....when the desire is gone and nothing holds me here except commitment to follow His path. He still finds pleasure in me even when I find myself functioning, not on desire, but on discipline.

You can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
- Kipling

But, I also believe that God is a Rewarder of those who seek Him...and I continue to wait patiently to see that full revelation of His reward...whether it is here on earth or at the moment when I hope to hear "Well done, good and faithful servant."

From My Morning Devotions...

Lord, my love is frost and cold, ice and snow;
Let Your love warm me,
lighten my burden,
be my haven of rest;

May that Love be more revealed to me in all its influences
that my love for You may be more fervent and glowing;
Let the crashing tide of Your everlasting love
cover the rocks of my sin and care;

Then let my spirit soar above those things
which else had wrecked my life.

Make me fruitful by living to that love,
my character becoming more beautiful every day.
If traces of Christ's love-artistry be upon me,
may He work on with His divine brush
until the complete image be obtained
and I be made a perfect copy of Him, my Teacher and Guide.

Lord Jesus, come to me
Divine Spirit, rest on me
Holy Father, look on me in mercy and make me like Your Son.

My Perspective on Alcohol

I have been asked to share my belief about the use of alcohol - specifically Christians and social drinking.

Beliefs are usually formed by a variety of things. As a Christian, I believe that the Scriptures are my authoritative rule of faith and conduct; that means that the Scriptures have the right to tell me what to believe and what to do.

In this instance, the Scriptures do not clearly forbid all use of alcohol. They do specifically forbid drunkenness. Drinking to the point of excess is out of the question for someone claiming the name of Christ, according to the Scriptures. So the question really is: Can a Christian drink alcohol if it is in moderation? I do NOT believe, from a Scriptural standpoint, that I can definitively say that drinking in moderation is sinful behavior. I believe the Christian is free to follow his conscience on the matter.

That said, I will share my personal perspective on the subject. To help you understand why I have come to hold the position that I do about the use of alcohol I must share some of my experience because it has influenced my perception.

My first exposure to alcohol was at about age 8. My sister had married and I was visiting their home. We had found a little lost kitten and my sister said I could keep him. A few days later, her husband had been drinking and thought it would be fun to put whiskey in the kitten's milk. The kitten, feeling no pain, chewed it's little paw off and died. My brother-in-law, again under the influence, thought it was funny and laughed and laughed...

...and I couldn't make him stop.

At age 14, I was asked to go to the rodeo by the cutest guy in our small town. He was 19 and I couldn't believe that he asked ME to go with him. He was so much older and cooler. When we got in the truck, he handed me a bottle of cheap wine. I wanted to impress him and not look like a little kid so I drank enough of it to look "cool." He drank his share, too. Then he pulled over on an dirt road and turned to me...

...and I couldn't make him stop.

At age 15, I was spending the night with my other sister. Her husband came home in the morning from a night of drinking. I could hear my sister screaming from her room downstairs. My nieces woke up and began to calmly get ready for school while listening to their mother's cries...this was not an uncommon occurrence for them. I went to the balcony and looked down into the family room. My sister's blond hair was streaked with red as her drunken husband hit her over and over again...

...and I couldn't make him stop.

At age 20, I attended my sister's funeral. I stood by her casket, looking at the bullet hole in the side of her head placed there by a gun she held in her own hand. She had everything to live for - two daughters age 17 and 12 - but she didn't want to face life with a man who loved booze more than her. Everyone had talked to her about life changes that could be made and how life could turn around...

...but we couldn't make her stop.

I had a precious little girl live with me off and on for four years. She loved her daddy so much and he loved her. All she wanted was to be able to go home and live a normal life with her daddy. Some days she could do it; but there were the other days. The days when Daddy wouldn't wake up. The days when she had to go to the neighbor's house to ask for food. I spent hours with Dad talking to him about how much his little girl needed him and he would cry and say, "I know...and I need her" but the drink just kept calling to him...

...and I couldn't make him stop.

I have visited AA meetings with friends and listened to the heartbreaking stories of broken finances, broken families and broken lives. People who were at the point that they WANTED to quit...

...but they just couldn't make it stop.


On August 9, 2010, one of my deacons was riding his motorcycle home from Sturgis along with three of his buddies.  On I-29 at Little Sioux they were met by a truck driven by a very drunk 21 year old kid....

...and no one could make him stop.

If I thought these stories were isolated occurrences and anomalies I might not feel as strongly as I do. But they are not isolated. My experiences are repeated thousands of times over again across my town, my country, and the world I live in.

Therefore, I have come to this conclusion: Wine is a mocker, strong drink is a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise.

My experience with alcohol has shown to me that I am unable to stop it and it's effects. It puts me in situations where I am not in control of my faculties and am around others who are not in control either. This does not sound wise to me, and therefore, I have chosen not to drink nor to frequent places where drinking is the main purpose.

This does not mean that I do not go out with friends who drink at the dinner table. I have had fantastic evenings with friends who are having a glass of wine or some other drink with our meal...and I do not condemn them for doing so.

But, as for me and my house, we have taken a pledge of abstinence. I do not condemn those who drink in moderation because I don't believe that Scripture would do so. But it seems to me that playing with alcohol is like trying to have a rattlesnake for a pet. You just never know when it's going to turn around and strike you.

I believe that I am free to have a glass of wine if I want to...but wisdom has told me not to and I am going to listen to that voice.

So there's my perspective.

I don't watch the Ellen show but I'd love to see Joyce Drake get her due

Here's the deal: for YEARS this album has topped the "Worst Album Covers" lists. It's on every website, it's been published in books, and this week Jeff Bridges showed it on the Ellen show. Joyce's picture has been photoshopped hundreds of times in less than flattering (and some down-right disgusting) pictures.

I knew her when I was a kid. She's actually a very nice lady and we had this album. As I remember, she's actually a pretty good singer. She's also a fellow Assemblies of God pastor's wife from Texas.

Her image has been used hundreds of times on the internet and in print publications. There are entire websites and fan pages on facebook dedicated to this album cover and making fun of Joyce. She has never received one dime of compensation for the use of her image and name.

Soooo....since Jeff Bridges decided to put her on the Ellen show I think that Ellen should be encouraged to let Joyce come on the show and show everyone that she's really pretty cool, has a great message and a great voice to go with it.

I'm asking you to let Ellen know that Joyce needs her 15 minutes of GOOD fame. Go to http://ellen.warnerbros.com/show/respond/?PlugID=253 OR you can call 866-355-3684. Just let them know that you would love to see Joyce Drake have a few moments on the show to discuss all of this. I think Ellen is crazy enough to do it...which would be pretty cool.

There is also a facebook group that Joyce's family has put together about it: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=282203757058&ref=ts

Just to show what kind of "fun" people have had with this album check out this facebook group: http://www.facebook.com/search/?q=joyce+drake&init=quick#/group.php?gid=7230032851&ref=search&sid=887495690.2048305977..1

Thanks for helping out!
Ruthie

Is the Haiti earthquake God's judgment?

A friend of mine wrote and asked me what my take is on the statements being made about the earthquake in Haiti being God's judgment for sin. Is it good theology or not?


Well...the answer is "yes" and "no."

Support for the "yes, it is good theology to say that God uses catastrophes to judge nations, cities, and individuals for their sin" is found throughout Scripture. Common examples would include Noah's flood, Sodom and Gomorrah, and the judgment on Israel after David's census. The prophetic books consist of chapter after chapter detailing God's chastisement on nations for their national sins. Even in the New Testament we read of promised judgment on "Babylon" in the book of Revelation. After all, the main writer of the New Testament made this bold statement: "The wages of sin IS death"...all the time, every time. One really cannot come away from a thorough reading of Scripture and doubt that it is a good understanding of the nature of God that He is the Ultimate Judge of sin and that when His judgment falls it is swift and sure.

SO....all that said...is Pat Robertson right? Was the earthquake and devastation in Haiti the direct result of their national sin of voodooism? Well, it very well could be.

However, there is also much Scriptural support for the "No, it is bad theology to say that catastrophe is the result of God's judgment." There is an entire book in the Bible that backs up this claim: The Book of Job. Remember Job's friends? Their theological understanding was actually quite right. God does punish sin. However, their application of that theology was quite wrong. God does punish sin...but He was not punishing Job. There was more to the story that had not yet been revealed.

Jesus actually answered this question for us in Luke 13:1-5. As He was teaching, men came to him and asked about a current news event: Pilate had some worshipers slaughtered right in the Temple courts. "What do you think about this, Jesus?" Jesus' response was to bring up another natural event (the decay of some towers that had fallen and crushed 18 men) and then to use both of the current events to drive home this Truth: "Do not suppose that these men were greater sinners because of their fate. No, listen to Me on this point: Unless you repent, you will all perish just like they did."

Note that Jesus did not say that the men who died were not sinners. He simply said they were not GREATER sinners than anyone else standing there that day. I believe there are a few principles we can draw from the way Jesus responded to these two tragedies of His day:

1. Great suffering does not necessarily equate with great sinning. Be careful not to confuse the two. Gold is cast into the fire to be purified just the same as chaff is cast in to be consumed.
2. Do not make use of current events to criticize those who are suffering, as if their sin is any worse than your own.
3. Tragedy should cause us to examine our own need for repentance.
4. Our place is to preach Truth (which includes that the wages of sin is death) and to leave the judgment in the hands of the Judge. Remember, God's harshest words in the book of Job were reserved for Job's friends who had good theology but bad application.

So...was it God's judgment on sin? Well, sure. All of the negative effects that come from living in a fallen world are the results of sin. I doubt, however, that the sins of those Haitians were any more despicable in the eyes of God than my own sins. I deserve judgment just as much as they did...and without repentance my judgment is just as sure.

Let's remember that there are parts of the Great Story we have not yet read. Watch the news, pray for the suffering, do what we can to ease that suffering....and look into our own hearts because, as Jesus said, "unless you repent, you will all likewise perish." (Luke 13: 5)

Thoughts this morning on Haiti...and God

While hearing the news this week and looking at the pictures of the devastation in Haiti, my mind began to wonder what it might be like to be Jesus. Imagine the sights His eyes must see as He views the pain and suffering going on all around the world, not just in Haiti but in the brothels of Delhi, in the business rooms of Beijing, and in the family rooms of Des Moines. Imagine the cries that His ears must daily hear. Imagine the loving heart of the Creator being broken by what has happened to His creation over the years of recorded history.

Is it any wonder that He decided to step into history, take on human flesh, and participate in our suffering? We often think along these lines "How could a loving God just stand by and watch this take place?" Well, the truth is, He doesn't just "stand by"....He enters into the suffering, partakes in it, and then provides a way of relief from it. He did so in the Incarnation over 2000 years ago, and He is still "putting on flesh" through every relief worker that gives a cup of clean water in His name. He is there in every dollar that buys food for a hungry child and in every construction worker that assembles a safe shelter for a defenseless woman without a home. He is the added strength that allows a pastor to comfort a grieving father while his own home lies in wreckage.

Imagine how the heart of the Creator must long for the fullness of time when all of creation is restored! He must yearn for that time when redemption is fully realized....and there will be no more tsunamis, no more earthquakes, no more rape, no more genocide, no more war, no more divorce, no more sickness...and no more death. Romans 8 tells us that even creation itself is groaning for its redemption.

But you know what? I believe God's heart must be looking forward to that time of the fullness of redemption even more than mine is.

Help me feel your heart today, Lord...and then help me to be your hands.

Resolutions and Jonathan Edwards

I have always been a New Year's Resolution type person because I love setting new goals and having something to use as a tool to evaluate my progress. Some resolutions get repeated every year, some get tweaked, some serve their time and are crossed off the list, and some are just ridiculous and get tossed at the end of the year. For the past 4 years I have had at least one resolution that has stayed the same: to be more fun. I mentioned this one to the children at breakfast this morning to see how I did last year. I, personally, felt that I had more fun last year but, apparently, the children didn't notice. Note to self: have more fun WITH children in 2010.

I also like to read through other people's resolutions. Sounds voyeuristic, I know, but you can learn an awful lot about another person by looking at their immediate and long-term goals. One of the papers on my desk is a list of 70 Resolutions of Jonathan Edwards, pastor and theologian of the First Great Awakening. He wrote these over the years of 1722 and 1723.

His first resolution is this: "Resolved, that I will do whatsoever I think to be most to God's glory, and my own good, profit and pleasure, in the whole of my duration, without any consideration of the time, whether now, or never so many myriad's of ages hence. Resolved to do whatever I think to be my duty and most for the good and advantage of mankind in general. Resolved to do this, whatever difficulties I meet with how many and how great soever."

I like the way he puts the priority of his decision making: 1. Is this to the glory of God? If no, then cross it off the list. If yes, move on to 2. Is this to my own good? It may be for the glory of God but is this something that God has given to ME to do? If no, then cross it off my list for the time being or delegate it on to someone else or make it a matter of prayer that the right person will take it on. If it is something that I should do then 3. How do I do it in a way that it works for the most good for the advantage of mankind in general?

So, here's a resolution for me on January 5, 2010: Resolved, to make my decisions about my time based on three things - 1. God's glory 2. My personal place and priorities as I understand them and 3. To do those things in a way that would be of the best advantage for others.

Sounds like a good way to kick off the new year. Happy New Year!

Confessions of A Football Widow, pt 1: I Encounter Football

"Becoming a football fan usually happens naturally: you were raised in a family who liked to watch football, your high school boyfriend was the starting quarterback, or something about the game just spoke to you. But what happens when you’ve never developed a taste for the game — and you marry someone who absolutely loves it? It could mean many lonely winter months for you unless you learn to embrace the sport that has captivated your husband." Tori76 at Ehow

I was aware of the existence of football before I married. I grew up in Texas where high school football is a sort of "religious experience" but, outside of watching my brother carry his 400 pound tuba around in the marching band and going to the championship game to watch Eric Dickerson lead our Sealy Tigers to State in 1979, football and I existed in a parallel universe.

I married Shawn in May of 1989. What a beautiful summer it was. Yes, my husband would disappear on Saturday morning, only to return bloody, muddy, bruised, and happy in the afternoon. "I am man. I play football. I rub other man's face in mud and blood." This statement would be followed by a sort of primal guttural sound accompanied by an odd little dance resembling something out of the opening scene of The Crucible.

While I had never personally observed a man behave this way, I had heard of the phenomenon and thought it was cute and was happy to have him have this unique outlet in life. Why not? No harm is done (at least to me...I wasn't the one covered in blood and mud) and it's only a few hours on Saturday morning. Let the boy have some fun.

Summer progressed and oh, how I loved the Sundays of our first summer of marriage. We would come home from church, have a quick lunch together, and then cuddle up for a Sunday afternoon nap. Sigh...isn't marriage wonderful!

May melted into June which faded into July and August.

Then came September.

Something happens to a certain breed of men in September. The air turns crisp, the leaves start to change, and their little hearts begin to beat in faster palpitation at the thought of what is just around the corner - a new season of pigskin passing.

I was simply not prepared for this change. There were no warning signs before the insanity began. One Sunday he was mine and the next Sunday he was...WHERE WAS HE?

In retrospect, it might have been easier if we had taken time for a little talk beforehand, kind of like Lon Cheney explaining his unique transformation in the old werewolf movies. "Honey, I know this will be hard for you to understand. I don't understand it myself but every year at about this time I.......change. Something possesses me and I become a mad, howling creature. It will be shocking and horrifying for you but you must be strong. I can overcome it if you'll only stick with me, baby."

But we didn't do that.

I remember the first Sunday of football season, 1989. We had a lovely time at church, I came home and prepared lunch, and then slipped off into the bedroom to prepare for our naptime. I waited....and waited. What on earth is he doing out there? I padded out to find my man.

To my horror, there, in my own living room, I beheld an entirely new mutant curiosity. Something that looked like my husband had parked itself in front of the television, surrounded by Dorito bags and sausage, with it's feet up on the coffee table. Whatever it was, it was completely oblivious to anything happening in the world around it, including the fact that it was Sunday afternoon and "naptime."

"What are you doing?" I asked the lump that had taken over my husband. There was no response so I gently kicked it. "Hello? You in there?" Blank eyes returned my inquiry while a numb and trembling hand raised a dorito to the creatures mouth.

I did what any normal frantic wife would do in such a situation where her husband is obviously sick and in need of intervention. I stood in front of the television.

This got his attention.

"HEY, YOU'RE BLOCKING THE GAME!"

"Yes, dear...are you alright? It's Sunday afternoon. This is when we always...."

"GET OUT OF THE WAY. SOMETHING MIGHT BE....ARGH...I MISSED IT!" (insert soundtrack of wild screams of "playback, playback")

Obviously, I did not know this person who was currently incapable of conversation so I went off to my room to contemplate this new development. Mom said there would be days like this. Well, Scarlett, tomorrow is another day.

Yes, it was another day. It was Monday.

I came home from a day of school and work, prepared dinner, and planned for an evening of "making up" for what was missed yesterday afternoon.

It was then that I was introduced to another cultural phenomena of which I was previously unaware: Monday Night Football.

The creature was back.

The rest of the week went well. I noticed he was disappearing into the bathroom with the newspaper more but, perhaps, he was just concerned about Saddam Hussein and the situation in Kuwait and wanted to be more informed.

Then Saturday came. I was accustomed by this point to the Saturday morning games with the buddies. But now a new friend came into my life: College teams.

There were no end to them! They played back to back, on every channel, ALL DAY!

There he was again...the "thing" that took over my husband's body and mind. Sitting on my couch, eating expensive food, responding in grunts, with an occasional scream and rant and a thousand choice comments about coaches, referees, linebackers, and other strange and unusual new vocabulary words.

Something had to be done to reign this creature in...and quickly.

NEXT POST: Confessions of a Football Widow, pt 2: I Attempt to Rescue my Husband from Football

For my son...on his 18th birthday

Today my son, Erik, is 18. Today our culture pronounces him "adult" and "mature." He is able to vote, join the army, buy a gun and purchase any drink his wallet will allow. :)

But legal maturity is only one aspect of maturation. There is also physical, practical, and moral maturity. These seem to come at different ages. I have seen kids who physically matured at 13 and some 40 year olds that still haven't come to practical maturity. Chronology has very little to do with moral maturity, as well. Oftentimes, 7 year olds understand morality and ethics better than adults.

I was listening to a lecture recently on "virtus" and the importance it played in the development of the Roman Republic. "Virtus," translated to the English "virtue" has as its root the word "vir," meaning "man." The picture it protrays is that to be virtuous is to be a "man of honor." As I think about this process of a boy becoming a man I want my son to realize that chronology doesn't make a man. "Virtus" does. Honor. Integrity. Nobility. Wisdom. These are the things that seperate the men from the boys.

Many times I have pointed my son to the following poem, written by Rudyard Kipling. Kipling wrote this tender poem for his own son and I don't think I can improve on it.

Happy Birthday, Erik...Ad virtutem per sapientiam

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Morning Devotions with John Newton

Has it REALLY been all summer since I've posted? Yikes! Well...it's the first day of Fall so here's another new start for me! :)

I pulled out my old Olney Hymnal this morning at the suggestion of a friend (Thanks, William G!) and read through some great words penned by John Newton. He was in the habit of writing a hymn to go with his sermons preached at the Olney Parish. He eventually, along with neighbor William Cowper, published this collection of hymns in the Olney Hymnal. This little book introduced the world to "Amazing Grace" (Newton) and "There is a Fountain Filled With Blood" (Cowper).

Original 1779 price? 2 shillings. I paid much more than that for my copy from the Cowper and Newton Museum in 2004. Imagine putting down your thoughts and having people still paying to own them 225 years later? That's durability.

The one I read this morning is Hymn 53: "One There Is, Above All Others." He wrote this one to go with a sermon on Proverbs 18:24 "There is a friend who sticketh closer than a brother."
Verses 5 and 6 really stood out to me:

Would we bear from one another,
What He daily bears from us?
Yet this glorious Friend and Brother,
Loves us tho' we treat Him thus:
Tho' for good we render ill,
He accounts us brethren still.

Oh! for grace our hearts to soften!
Teach us, Lord, at length to love;
We, alas, forget too often,
What a Friend we have above:
But when home our souls are brought,
We will love Thee as we ought.

"Lord, remind me today of the great love you have toward me. It is so true that I would not stand to be treated by someone else the way I so often treat You. I ignore You when you speak, I do not respond to Your messages, I blame You for things that You didn't do, I take advantage of Your kindness, and take from You so much more than I give. Grant me grace to return Your friendship today in the small and feeble way in which I am able....help me to be a faithful friend."