In our day of social media, a nineteenth century hymn has some good advice....

My first task today?  Dealing with a self-centered obnoxious person.  I sat down at the computer and was very tempted to write a facebook post sharing my frustration.  After all, if I had to start Monday morning dealing with someone's obnoxiousness the least I could do was share the experience with the 2000-some friends who share my page, right?

While foraging through my emotion-muddled vocabulary to find the right words to share my thoughts, a tune filtered through the fog to my mind...and with the tune came the words associated with it.

Edmund Lorenz, author of "Tell it To Jesus"

"Are you weary? Are you heavy-hearted?
Tell it to Jesus, Tell it to Jesus
Are you grieving over joys departed?
Tell it to Jesus alone.

Do the tears flow down your cheeks unbidden?
Tell it to Jesus, Tell it to Jesus
Have you sins that to men's eyes are hidden?
Tell it to Jesus alone.

Tell it to Jesus, Tell it to Jesus
He is a Friend that's well known
You've no other such a Friend or brother
Tell it to Jesus alone."

In the social media driven world in which we live, if we are not careful, we can begin to view the events of our lives as status updates and tweets, publicizing the pettiest events with anyone who cares to listen. We need reminding that not every frustration, emotion, struggle, and detail of our lives is for public consumption.  Often, we share simply out of the very real need for camaraderie in this world of isolated togetherness.

But I wonder, sometimes, if in our rush to share with everyone else we miss out on the camaraderie of the deep spiritual intimacy that results from following the counsel in those five little words: Tell it to Jesus alone.

Alright...now it's time to turn off the computer screen and do just that.

Memories of My Daughter On Her 20th Birthday

20. In family devotions asking her to come up with a Scripture that reminded her of her brother and she choose John 10:20 "He hath a demon and is mad. Why listen to him?"
19. The time she spent her hard earned money to buy me a singing card for Mother's Day and presented me with a lovely card of Merle Haggard singing, "Mama Tried."
18. The time she consented to lead a song during worship and blew us all away with that great voice of hers.
17. When she was 4 and hid up in the tree for about an hour and watched us while we searched the entire neighborhood for her.
16. When we started foster care and discovered that she is an absolute natural with a baby in her arms and a toddler on her hip.
15. When I realized that she is indispensable for throwing a dinner party because she has a great eye for details and order and instinctively knows where to put all the utensils and dishes for a beautiful table.
14. The music that she fills the house with on the piano and the guitar...even though she likes to do it in the basement where she thinks no one is listening...I still turn things off upstairs just so I can hear her.
13. The way she loves to sneak up on people and take pictures of them while they are sleeping.
12. The braces she got in 8th grade (the exact same day that she had a speaking part in the school program) and how concerned she was that she would still have them in college....she got them off just before HS graduation....and we had a supper that night of popcorn, nachos, gum, and Doritos.
11. How she loves to decorate the Christmas tree JUST RIGHT.
10. How excited she was to purchase her first car that she paid for in cash with her own money that she had worked hard to earn.
9. The way she very bravely tackled her fear of strangers and different places and spent a summer living in a basement on the south-side of Chicago doing outreaches in Ford Heights and Chicago Heights...and learning to love another culture.
8. How she convinced me that I needed to begin painting my toenails at age 43 and then painted them for me - taking great care to choose a color that didn't make me look too "worldly."
7. How she would not hit the buzzer in JBQ even though she knew every one of the answers and when, during a time out, I promised her ice cream if she would answer a question she jumped in and answered the very next question....and then never hit the buzzer again.
6. The time she took the initiative to join the high school med program at University of Nebraska Med Center and learned about all the different opportunities available to her and came home very proud of the banana that she had expertly sutured.
5. Her incredible ability to be extremely nervous about doing something and then stand up and pull it off without even breaking a sweat.
4. Her personal drive to enroll in and fund her training as a certified nurses assistant while she was still in high school and the incredible value that she brings to her job at Fox Run Assisted Living Center....and the conscientious way she does her job and loves on her residents.
3. How she loved Spam and prunes as a kid.
2. The mother/daughter trip we took to Italy to fulfill a dream of climbing Mt. Vesuvius and the bravery that she showed in staying there after I went home in order to help out some kids that she really cares out.
1. The day she was born...and they placed a beautiful blond hair blue-eyes baby in my arms after a fairly easy labor...and I knew that I was just beginning the adventure of being a mother with a daughter...who is so very different and yet so very much like me.

The memories are just beginning, my precious daughter...never stop dreaming and, in God's time and God's plan, never stop running after those dreams.

You is kind. You is smart. You is important.

Me and Jonathan Edward's - Resolution #1

I have always been a New Year's Resolution type person because I love setting new goals and having something to use as a tool to evaluate my progress. Some resolutions get repeated every year, some get tweaked, some serve their time and are crossed off the list, and some are just ridiculous and get tossed by January 21. For the past 4 years I have had at least one resolution that has stayed the same: to be more fun. I mentioned this one to the children at breakfast recently to see how I was doing. I, personally, felt that I had been more fun but, apparently, the children didn't notice. Note to self: have more fun WITH children in 2013...or at least when they're watching.

I also like to read through other people's resolutions. Sounds voyeuristic, I know, but you can learn an awful lot about another person by looking at their immediate and long-term goals. I have a framed print in my office of 70 Resolutions of Jonathan Edwards, pastor and theologian of the First Great Awakening. He wrote these over the years of 1722 and 1723.


I read one or two of these every day.  Some of them I really identify with, some are hard to understand, and some I don't even like.  Since one of the resolutions that I have completely ignored this year is to be more faithful with blog writing I am going to try a brief weekly post on each of these resolutions - for my own benefit and anyone else who stumbles across them.

His first resolution is this: "Resolved, that I will do whatsoever I think to be most to God's glory, and my own good, profit and pleasure, in the whole of my duration, without any consideration of the time, whether now, or never so many myriad's of ages hence. Resolved to do whatever I think to be my duty and most for the good and advantage of mankind in general. Resolved to do this, whatever difficulties I meet with how many and how great soever."

I like the way he puts the priority of his decision making: 1. Is this to the glory of God? If no, then cross it off the list. If yes, move on to question 2. Is this to my own good? It may be for the glory of God but is this something that God has given to ME to do? If no, then cross it off my list for the time being or delegate it on to someone else or make it a matter of prayer that the right person will take it on. If it is something that I should do then question 3 comes into play: How do I do it in a way that it works for the most good for the advantage of mankind in general?

So, here's a resolution for me on April 22, 2013: Resolved, to make my decisions about my time based on three things - 1. God's glory 2. My personal place and priorities as I understand them and 3. To do those things in a way that would be of the best advantage for others.

...including blogging.

An Open Letter to My Politically Minded Friends Who Also Happen to Be Christians

Dear friends,

Scrolling through my facebook news feed this morning and reading our morning greetings to the world around us I wondered what our Lord must think of the things we say and write.   I know that the political environment in which we find ourselves is not what so many of us want for our country.  Many of my dear friends are frightened, concerned, and, yes, angered by policies being established for us.

But I feel that I must speak out on an issue that concerns us and the way we represent Christ in the public square.

As an American I have the right of free speech granted to me by the first amendment in the Bill of Rights. This must be treasured, protected, and defended.

However, as a Christian, my highest authority of belief and conduct is not the Constitution of the United States. It is the Bible....and the Bible specifically puts limits on my freedom of speech. As an American, I have the right to be rude, offensive, disrespectful, and obnoxious.  As a Christian, I do not.

As a Christian, the following boundaries are placed on my speech:

1.  Spreading slander is not part of the Christian's freedom of speech.

Proverbs 10:18-20
He who conceals his hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool. When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.

Proverbs 12:17-19
A truthful witness gives honest testimony, but a false witness tells lies. Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment.

Colossians 3:8
But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.

FOLKS, LISTEN!  Starbucks has not refused to send coffee to Marines. Barack Obama was not sworn into office with his hand on the Koran nor has he sworn to replace the National Anthem with "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing." Parents who lost their children in the school shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary were NOT paid actors carrying off an elaborate hoax. These are all SLANDEROUS lies....and when we pass them on with either our mouths or our keyboards we are involved in SINFUL behavior. Careless use of the "share" button does not please our Lord.

2.  Coarse joking is not part of the Christian's freedom of speech.

Ephesians 5:4
Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.

Proverbs 26:18,19
Just as damaging as a madman shooting a deadly weapon  is someone who lies to a friend and then says, “I was only joking.”

I love humor and I agree with many of you that "political correctness" has gone too far.  But I also must remember that humor does not excuse rudeness. As Christians, many of us would be offended at a post objectifying beautiful women's bodies in a tacky manner for entertainment.  Good for us!  But we will then post unflattering pictures of Hillary Clinton or Michelle Obama and say something like "Sure glad I don't have to go home and look at that every night."  Yes, I know that you are "only joking" but funny or not, posts like that are rude, distasteful, unhelpful to our cause, and unChristlike.  What must Natasha and Malia Obama think of Christ after the way Christians have spoken about their parents?  Are they laughing along with us?  Probably not.  Let's not make Christ and Christianity unattractive and then excuse it by saying "it was only a joke."  I'm not sure God is laughing.

3.  Disrespectful and hateful words are not part of the Christian's freedom of speech.

Proverbs 15:1-2
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.

Ephesians 4:15
Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.

Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Speaking disrespectfully (such as making fun of a person's name or the way they look) will not win anyone to our cause. It does not make us look clever.  It makes us look mean.  Words like "faggot, nigger, dyke, slut," etc have no place coming out of the mouth or the keyboard of a Christian.  If we want to make people angry at us and turn off any chance of hearing what we have to say the best way to accomplish that goal is to start off by calling them rude names.

(Side note:  Did Jesus use "name-calling" in His speech?  Such as "hypocrite, viper" etc?  Yes, He did. He used these names as reflections of the character of those with whom He was speaking.  But before we follow Jesus in this practice we need to make sure of three things: 1. We are able to read as accurately as Jesus did the genuine character of people. 2. We do not use these names in malice.  3.  We do it directly to their face and not in a back-handed way on social media.)

4. "Tit for Tat" conversation is not part of the Christian's freedom of speech.

Proverbs 15:28
The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.

1 Corinthians 2:13
This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words.

1 Peter 3:9-11
Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it.

We have come to believe that someone else's rude behavior justifies our own.  But, according to the Scriptures, we are not free to just gush out words based on our emotions.  We are to weigh our words - thinking about how their weight will affect the person on whom we are pouring them.  We do not respond with the same tactics as those who do not know Christ.  They are not bound to Christ and, therefore, have some freedoms in speech that we do not. They are free to call us vulgar names, slander us, and mock our beliefs.  We are NOT free to respond in like fashion because we are bound to Christ.  When we carry His name by claiming the title "Christian" we are bound to represent Him in word and action....even on social media.

5.  Blessing God while cursing men is not part of the Christian's freedom of speech.

James 1:26
If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.

James 3:9-10
With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.

Posting a status update ragging on the people who work with me and then following it up with a post that says "I have the joy of the Lord today!" just rings shallow to people.  It doesn't work.  I shudder when I think that one day I will stand before God knowing that I "will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word" I have spoken.  THIS knowledge of my own accountability before God concerns me WAY more than President Obama's policies and legalization of same-sex marriage.


In summary, Titus 2:10 tells me that I should live in such a way that I "will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive."  Since I take the title "Christian" and my name is connected with that of Christ I am under obligation to make Him attractive by the way I present Him through my own life.  This has caused me on many occasions to have to ask forgiveness for the way I have behaved and spoken.

I want my words to "sustain the weary," "nourish many," and "instruct in righteousness." Because of that I cannot refrain from speaking what I believe from God's Word to be true.  After all, "he who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor than he who has a flattering tongue"  but I must, somehow under the influence of the Holy Spirit, learn to do it in such a way that my conversation is "always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that (I) may know how to answer everyone" in a way that will cause them to actually listen rather than shut me out because I'm acting like a jerk.

Yes, as an American who has the privilege of having a facebook account, a blog, and a Twitter feed I have full freedom of speech.  But, as a Christian, that freedom is limited to the boundaries of Scripture which instructs me in Titus 2: 7,8 that I must "set an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us."

Will people say bad things about me even if I try to speak as a biblically minded Christian?  SURE! But when they do I want it to be because they are taking issue with the Truth of my statements and not just because I'm acting like an idiotic nitwit. (Hmmm....I wonder if that would count as name-calling.)    :)

Anyway, let us remember today that "the power of life and death is in the tongue"....and in the keyboard.  :)

Love you, guys...we're all in this together!

Facebook Flirting: Why I'm in Favor of It

Recently I did a series of status updates on my Facebook entitled “Countdown to Valentine’s Day: Things I Love about My Husband.” Each day I posted something that I appreciate about Shawn and shared it with my friends on the site.

Early into the “countdown” one of the young girls that I meet with for mentoring mentioned to me that it was a little creepy to see married people flirting with each other. She said that it seemed normal to see her single friends posting flirty, or even downright suggestive, comments to each other but, somehow, it seemed wrong for married people. After all, once you’re married isn’t all of that kind of nonsense supposed to stop? You need to get on to the serious business of life – like jobs, mortgages, children, and in-law arguments. If marriage were any fun, “Sex and the City” would not have been about single people, right?

So, here’s my thoughts on “The Top Five Reasons I Flirt (with my husband) on Facebook.”

5. It is a protection for the purity of my marriage. Facebook has come under a lot of fire (and rightfully so) as being a tool for adulterous affairs. The last three court cases I attended regarding family issues included evidence presented from facebook posts. Because of the inherent dangers in this social media site I feel that it is important that I make it clear to those I communicate with that I am a married woman…and a happily married one, at that. Speaking positively about and to my husband, publicly, is one way to make sure there is a “Not Available’ sign on my wall.

4. I want my children to see that their family is secure because their parents are secure. Too many children grow up under the consistent fear that the foundation of their home – their parent’s marriage – is hanging by a tenuous thread. Shawn and I have tried to make sure that they see a healthy and playful interaction between their parents so that they can bypass the all too common anxiety of the divorce culture and can go freely about the business of simply growing up. Besides, I want my kids to know what a good marriage looks like so they can avoid a bad one. When my girls marry I want them to know how to treat a man because of what they saw at home.

3. I want to leave the next generation with the message that marriage is a GOOD thing. We are raising kids in a culture that has caused so many to discount marriage altogether. What many have seen of marriage has caused them to want to avoid it rather than anticipate it. Television, movies, and music all make romance seem so steamy and exciting – for singles. But married people? They argue, cheat on each other, are usually sexually frustrated….and downright boring. We send them a message that says marriage is NOT worth waiting for…single people have all the fun. That’s a dangerous message and I want my marriage to show that two people can marry, have children, jobs, mortgages, and two decades of sleeping with the same person and still love it!

2. I want my church congregation to know that their pastors have a healthy marriage. Far too many churches have been devastated by pastoral marital failures and when one pastor fails it makes congregants wonder if all is well in their own church parsonage. Publicly enjoying my marriage can help to quench that fear, and it models to couples in our church the value of the sanctity of marriage. It also reminds our church friends that we are just a regular man and woman on this journey of life along with them. We really don’t live in a monastery; we can identify with all of the joys and struggles that every couple goes through.

And the number one reason I flirt with my husband….

1. My husband likes it. As women we must remember that the way to a man’s heart is not through his stomach; it is through his ego. Men love to hear that they are needed, respected, valued, and desirable...and they like it when their woman says publicly “I’m proud of my man.” I don’t want one of those marriages where you just co-exist until you die. I want to enjoy my man…and I want him to enjoy me.

So there you have it, my dear young friend. In a world with a 50% divorce rate, and public figures from Hollywood to Washington, DC publicly scandalizing lifelong monogamous commitment, one of my goals is to show your generation that marriage really is still not only doable but enjoyable.

Letter to My Son on His 20th Birthday

Dear Son,

Today is your 20th birthday. Never would I have imagined, when you were a toddler, that for your 20th birthday you would request baby wipes, socks, and beef jerky for your gift. Birthdays on the battlefield must be different than we knew them here at home. I don't know if there is a cake in your MRE or if anyone will sing in your honor but know that we are thinking of you at home and will be celebrating you...even if you are not here.

Over the past several years you and I have often communicated through shared literature. For your birthday this year, I wanted to pass on some thoughts from the pen of the Bard of Avon (Hamlet, Act 1, Scene 3) with some of my own thoughts grafted in with his. There is nothing new here...nothing you have not heard from me for many years...but, on your birthday, I wanted to share with you once again some life lessons from literature.

The setting, as you know, is the departure of Laertes for education in Paris. His father, Polonius, gives him advice on living and learning in this collection of proverbs.

Yet here, Laertes? Aboard, aboard, for shame!
The wind sits in the shoulder of your sail,
And you are stay'd for. There, my blessing with thee.
And these few precepts in thy memory

(This is one of the hard parts of parenting, son...encouraging our children to leave us and seek their own fortune. Polonius looks at his son and says "Are you still here? For shame!" When the wind is in your sail you must learn this: The opportunity of a lifetime must be taken during the lifetime of that opportunity. It is to our shame if our ship is ready to sail and we are not ready to sail with it. The wise parent recognizes this and gives their blessings...and a few precepts to remember along the way. )

See thou character.

(It is among your main responsibilities, son, to see to your own character. This is not the job of others. This discipline belongs to you alone. In all of your learning and growing and gaining and seeking do not neglect the wisdom of self-discipline in building your character. Reputation is what others think of you; character shows what you think of yourself. Remember that the choices you make today you will have to sleep with tonight...and must accept the positive or negative consequences of tomorrow.

Give thy thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportion'd thought his act.

(Not every thought we think needs to be spoken and not every thought needs to be acted upon. When the mind is thinking it is talking to itself. Others do not always need to join the conversation. Let your words be few and your actions be well thought out.)

Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar.
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch'd, unfledged comrade.

(Make it a habit to be friendly to all, son, but never let your desire for friendship bring down your character. Do not spend a lot of money trying to impress each new person to come along. Know the difference between friends and acquaintances. Lasting friendships in life are few and because of their rarity are all the more valuable. Those friendships that have been tested and found true will be an anchor for you when you feel adrift...do all you can to nurture those friendships with bonds of steel.)

Beware of entrance to a quarrel; but being in,
bear't that the opposed may beware of thee.

(Be slow to get into a quarrel but once you are in it see it through to the end and fight like a man in such a way that others will know that you are a man to be contended with.)

Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgment.

(Do more listening than talking...and when others come to you with criticism, take it with grace, evaluate it, learn from it and make course corrections when needed. But, as for you, do not be one that is quick to criticize others. Let your judgment be reserved for the important things in life and don't be one of those who goes about annoying everyone by trying to correct them.

Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man,
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are of a most select and generous, chief in that.

(Your choice of attire says much about you. Dress well but don't be ostentatious. Learn to be moderate and to dress for the occasion. It is true that God looks on the heart of a man but others around him will base much of their evaluation on his outward presentation. Dress in a manner commensurate with the man you seek to be. )

Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.

(Learn to manage your money well, son. Debt is the bane of existence for so many young men and women at your stage in life...and even later. Do not spend more than you earn. Keep this in mind should you ever want to make a loan to a friend: Oftentimes, the money cannot be repaid and then you lose both the money, and likely, the friend. This is true for your own borrowing, as well. Better yet, learn to be a saver and a planner. Anticipate your needs and save accordingly. Learn to anticipate the 'surprises' in life. Keep enough in reserve so that life's suprises do not lead you into debt. Ignoring this common sense advice is the reason our country is in so much economic danger today.)

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

(Son, for twenty years you have listened to your father and to your mother and to the other authorities in your life but, remember this, YOU must choose the direction of your life, your calling, your mission. God has designed you for a purpose. When you are true to that purpose you will find and fulfill your greatest destiny and will be truly the man that God intended you to be. When you are aware of your own value, knowing that you bear the stamp of originality from the Master Craftsman, there will be no fear that your character and integrity would view any of His creations as less than that same ideal.)

Farewell. My blessing season this in thee!

(Vale, fili mi. Benedictio patris et matris tuae et docebit vos facere per annos. Amo te.)

Is Alzheimers Really a Valid Excuse for Divorce?

I was floored this morning to read this article on the editorial page of Christianity Today: "Pat Robertson Says Divorce Okay if Spouse Has Alzheimers."

I agree that Alzheimers is one of the most difficult of diseases. It is a diagnosis that is, perhaps, even harder on the family than it is on the patient. One friend recently shared with me, "We've always dreamed of these years in our lives when we would just sit on the porch together and talk about the memories of the kids and our lives together. Now we do sit on the porch together...but only one of us has the memories. It's a lonely feeling. There is no one to share the memories with."

Heartbreaking? Absolutely! I have often wondered how I would respond if something happened to my husband, Shawn, and he was no longer able to be the man I married. A car accident could leave him a paraplegic in a moment. A disease could ravage his body. Not only would I be without the "man I married" but I would have the added responsibilities of taking care of him day in and day out with very little promise, if any, of him being able to meet my needs in return. How would I react? Could I do it? How would I handle the loneliness? Would I resent the time, energy, and effort to care for him? Would I become bitter because I was "missing out on life" by taking care of someone who would never be able to do one thing for me? Tough questions about my commitment and my very character.

This gets me thinking...as a Christian (someone who lives under the Lordship of Christ) when I came to Jesus he looked directly at me through his Word and said, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." What does it look like to live that out in relation to these questions above?

We tend to think about "taking up our cross" and "denying ourselves" as one big spiritual sacrifice that we make, then we're done with...like giving our car to a needy family or running into a burning building to rescue a child.

But, in reality, denying ourselves and taking up our cross is something that we do every day. It is a thousand little sacrifices, a lifetime of unnoticed acts, which cumulatively become huge. It's a man who loves his paralyzed wife for forty years by saying no to his sexual desires daily and dumping her bag of urine three times a day because he loves her as Christ loves the Church. It is a woman who never gets a full nights sleep because she gets up six times a night to reassure a frightened husband that he is alright - a husband who hasn't recognized her for years and hasn't spoken a kind word to her in months due to the loss of his mental faculties.

We have somewhere gotten the idea that the goal of marriage is our own personal fulfillment and when marriage no longer gives us personal satisfaction it is okay to abandon our vows of "better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health."

Think with me for just a minute....what if God's design for marriage was less about meeting my needs and more about being a reflection of His relationship with humankind? What if, as Paul said, the husband loves his wife as Christ loves the Church? What if Jesus loved the Church in the way that Mr. Robertson espouses in this article...abandoning us when we no longer fulfill His needs? That sounds unthinkable....and yet this is played out in our Christian homes far too often.

Taking up our cross daily and denying ourselves is not just about the person who dies in the coliseum in one triumphant hour torn apart by lions because he refused to deny Christ. It is about the daily choices I make in each part of my life...including my marriage. "Lord, please strengthen and empower me to be just that kind of person. I can't do it on my own."

On a side note - The Bible also talks to us about "bearing one anothers burdens." Mr. Robertson does make a very important point about the need for companionship. The frustration that I feel at his statement should also prompt me to offer true friendship and regular fellowship to those spouses who have, for all intents and purposes, 'lost' their spouse in this way. Their road is a lonely and often a long one - let's make sure that they have companionship of another kind so their burden is not too much to bear by themselves.