Ruthie's Thoughts on Life in General

Letter to My Son on His 20th Birthday

2011-09-23T10:07:00.000-07:00

Dear Son,

Today is your 20th birthday. Never would I have imagined, when you were a toddler, that for your 20th birthday you would request baby wipes, socks, and beef jerky for your gift. Birthdays on the battlefield must be different than we knew them here at home. I don't know if there is a cake in your MRE or if anyone will sing in your honor but know that we are thinking of you at home and will be celebrating you...even if you are not here.

Over the past several years you and I have often communicated through shared literature. For your birthday this year, I wanted to pass on some thoughts from the pen of the Bard of Avon (Hamlet, Act 1, Scene 3) with some of my own thoughts grafted in with his. There is nothing new here...nothing you have not heard from me for many years...but, on your birthday, I wanted to share with you once again some life lessons from literature.

The setting, as you know, is the departure of Laertes for education in Paris. His father, Polonius, gives him advice on living and learning in this collection of proverbs.

Yet here, Laertes? Aboard, aboard, for shame!
The wind sits in the shoulder of your sail,
And you are stay'd for. There, my blessing with thee.
And these few precepts in thy memory

(This is one of the hard parts of parenting, son...encouraging our children to leave us and seek their own fortune. Polonius looks at his son and says "Are you still here? For shame!" When the wind is in your sail you must learn this: The opportunity of a lifetime must be taken during the lifetime of that opportunity. It is to our shame if our ship is ready to sail and we are not ready to sail with it. The wise parent recognizes this and gives their blessings...and a few precepts to remember along the way. )

See thou character.

(It is among your main responsibilities, son, to see to your own character. This is not the job of others. This discipline belongs to you alone. In all of your learning and growing and gaining and seeking do not neglect the wisdom of self-discipline in building your character. Reputation is what others think of you; character shows what you think of yourself. Remember that the choices you make today you will have to sleep with tonight...and must accept the positive or negative consequences of tomorrow.

Give thy thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportion'd thought his act.

(Not every thought we think needs to be spoken and not every thought needs to be acted upon. When the mind is thinking it is talking to itself. Others do not always need to join the conversation. Let your words be few and your actions be well thought out.)

Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar.
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch'd, unfledged comrade.

(Make it a habit to be friendly to all, son, but never let your desire for friendship bring down your character. Do not spend a lot of money trying to impress each new person to come along. Know the difference between friends and acquaintances. Lasting friendships in life are few and because of their rarity are all the more valuable. Those friendships that have been tested and found true will be an anchor for you when you feel adrift...do all you can to nurture those friendships with bonds of steel.)

Beware of entrance to a quarrel; but being in,
bear't that the opposed may beware of thee.

(Be slow to get into a quarrel but once you are in it see it through to the end and fight like a man in such a way that others will know that you are a man to be contended with.)

Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgment.

(Do more listening than talking...and when others come to you with criticism, take it with grace, evaluate it, learn from it and make course corrections when needed. But, as for you, do not be one that is quick to criticize others. Let your judgment be reserved for the important things in life and don't be one of those who goes about annoying everyone by trying to correct them.

Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man,
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are of a most select and generous, chief in that.

(Your choice of attire says much about you. Dress well but don't be ostentatious. Learn to be moderate and to dress for the occasion. It is true that God looks on the heart of a man but others around him will base much of their evaluation on his outward presentation. Dress in a manner commensurate with the man you seek to be. )

Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.

(Learn to manage your money well, son. Debt is the bane of existence for so many young men and women at your stage in life...and even later. Do not spend more than you earn. Keep this in mind should you ever want to make a loan to a friend: Oftentimes, the money cannot be repaid and then you lose both the money, and likely, the friend. This is true for your own borrowing, as well. Better yet, learn to be a saver and a planner. Anticipate your needs and save accordingly. Learn to anticipate the 'surprises' in life. Keep enough in reserve so that life's suprises do not lead you into debt. Ignoring this common sense advice is the reason our country is in so much economic danger today.)

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

(Son, for twenty years you have listened to your father and to your mother and to the other authorities in your life but, remember this, YOU must choose the direction of your life, your calling, your mission. God has designed you for a purpose. When you are true to that purpose you will find and fulfill your greatest destiny and will be truly the man that God intended you to be. When you are aware of your own value, knowing that you bear the stamp of originality from the Master Craftsman, there will be no fear that your character and integrity would view any of His creations as less than that same ideal.)

Farewell. My blessing season this in thee!

(Vale, fili mi. Benedictio patris et matris tuae et docebit vos facere per annos. Amo te.)

Is Alzheimers Really a Valid Excuse for Divorce?

2011-09-15T06:56:00.000-07:00

I was floored this morning to read this article on the editorial page of Christianity Today: "Pat Robertson Says Divorce Okay if Spouse Has Alzheimers."

I agree that Alzheimers is one of the most difficult of diseases. It is a diagnosis that is, perhaps, even harder on the family than it is on the patient. One friend recently shared with me, "We've always dreamed of these years in our lives when we would just sit on the porch together and talk about the memories of the kids and our lives together. Now we do sit on the porch together...but only one of us has the memories. It's a lonely feeling. There is no one to share the memories with."

Heartbreaking? Absolutely! I have often wondered how I would respond if something happened to my husband, Shawn, and he was no longer able to be the man I married. A car accident could leave him a paraplegic in a moment. A disease could ravage his body. Not only would I be without the "man I married" but I would have the added responsibilities of taking care of him day in and day out with very little promise, if any, of him being able to meet my needs in return. How would I react? Could I do it? How would I handle the loneliness? Would I resent the time, energy, and effort to care for him? Would I become bitter because I was "missing out on life" by taking care of someone who would never be able to do one thing for me? Tough questions about my commitment and my very character.

This gets me thinking...as a Christian (someone who lives under the Lordship of Christ) when I came to Jesus he looked directly at me through his Word and said, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." What does it look like to live that out in relation to these questions above?

We tend to think about "taking up our cross" and "denying ourselves" as one big spiritual sacrifice that we make, then we're done with...like giving our car to a needy family or running into a burning building to rescue a child.

But, in reality, denying ourselves and taking up our cross is something that we do every day. It is a thousand little sacrifices, a lifetime of unnoticed acts, which cumulatively become huge. It's a man who loves his paralyzed wife for forty years by saying no to his sexual desires daily and dumping her bag of urine three times a day because he loves her as Christ loves the Church. It is a woman who never gets a full nights sleep because she gets up six times a night to reassure a frightened husband that he is alright - a husband who hasn't recognized her for years and hasn't spoken a kind word to her in months due to the loss of his mental faculties.

We have somewhere gotten the idea that the goal of marriage is our own personal fulfillment and when marriage no longer gives us personal satisfaction it is okay to abandon our vows of "better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health."

Think with me for just a minute....what if God's design for marriage was less about meeting my needs and more about being a reflection of His relationship with humankind? What if, as Paul said, the husband loves his wife as Christ loves the Church? What if Jesus loved the Church in the way that Mr. Robertson espouses in this article...abandoning us when we no longer fulfill His needs? That sounds unthinkable....and yet this is played out in our Christian homes far too often.

Taking up our cross daily and denying ourselves is not just about the person who dies in the coliseum in one triumphant hour torn apart by lions because he refused to deny Christ. It is about the daily choices I make in each part of my life...including my marriage. "Lord, please strengthen and empower me to be just that kind of person. I can't do it on my own."

On a side note - The Bible also talks to us about "bearing one anothers burdens." Mr. Robertson does make a very important point about the need for companionship. The frustration that I feel at his statement should also prompt me to offer true friendship and regular fellowship to those spouses who have, for all intents and purposes, 'lost' their spouse in this way. Their road is a lonely and often a long one - let's make sure that they have companionship of another kind so their burden is not too much to bear by themselves.

My Prayer Tonight As I Embark On a New Ministry Endeavor

2011-03-19T18:07:00.000-07:00

Lord, I desperately need You. Your words "without Me you can do nothing" ring in my heart, soul, and spirit in this moment.

When I am discouraged in my ministry and full of doubts of myself, please anchor me to the rock of Your eternal election and remind me of Your words, "My gifts and callings are without repentance." If I can just be ever mindful that my calling comes from You alone and it is You before whom I will stand and give account then my heart will be encouraged and I shall have hope...for I have known Your grace and would willingly throw myself at Your feet, even in judgment, for You are Just and Merciful. I am accountable to You, Lord. Give me grace to stand transparent before You as a workman that does not need to be ashamed.

Keep my eyes off of man and focused intently on You.

Lord, keep me from thinking of myself or my work too highly. I know that in myself I am nothing but sin and weakness. In me no good thing dwells and my best works are but filthy rags. Humble me before You and keep me humble before others. Keep me ever sensible of my sinnership...and mindful of Your righteousness. Keep, also, those around me mindful that I am but human and, as such, will have the failings and needs common to humanity.

When the Dagon of pride rises up within me, break it before the Ark of Your Presence. Help me to live, walk, and emanate that Presence in the things I say, think, and do. May my confidence be God-confidence and not self-confidence.

Let grace be my experience and my cry. I am such a poor, weak creature when Faith is not in exercise; I am like an eagle with clipped wings who cannot soar to the heights for which it was designed. Let Your grace and mercy build my Faith and lift me up above the shadowlands to the heights for which I am created.

Grant to me to rest on Your power and faithfulness and to know that there are causes worthy of my own small power and faithfulness. Those causes are to bring glory and pleasure to You and to do good to the souls and bodies of those you have placed around me. Teach me how to live in that place where Scripture and culture intersect and to understand the times in which I live and to have wisdom to transform knowledge into godly action.

Lord, You know Your people by name, and YOU will at YOUR appointed season lead them out of a natural state to a gracious sanctified state at YOUR calling. Help me not to rush ahead of You or lag behind You but to keep gently in step with Your Spirit. To see YOUR people at the place that YOU have ordained for them is the object of my desire and the motivation of my ministry.

Lord, at this moment in time, this task before me is my ministry, my life, my prayer, my purpose.

Grant me grace that I shall not fail You.

Louis Armstrong's "It's A Wonderful World" and the Momentous Year of 1968

2011-01-24T13:47:00.000-08:00

One of my sweet young friends got me to thinking today when she posted this facebook status: "And I think to myself what a wonderful world" yeah sure, maybe for you Louis Armstrong... but that was in 1968... wonder if you would say the same now days?"

That date "1968" stood out in mind for a number of reasons and it got me researching...what WAS Louis Armstrong seeing in the world around him when he released the lyrics to "It's a Wonderful World"?

Well, for starters, if he was listening to his radio or watching TV he would have heard the following news stories...all within that momentous year:

January 31, 1968: Televised coverage of the Tet Offensive in Vietnam begins to shift opinion and anti-war & anti-military protests take on new passion.

Feb 8, 1968: Police fire into a crowd protesting the segregation of a bowling alley in SC. 3 killed, 27 injured.

March 8, 1968: 15,000 students in Los Angeles stage the Chicano Blowouts - the largest high school protest in history.

March 16, 1968: US Troops kill 500 unarmed Vietnamese civilians in My Lai prompting world wide outrage at America and its military.

March 19, 1968: Students shut down Howard University in mass protest.

April 4, 1968: James Earl Ray assassinates MLK, Jr in Memphis.

April 6, 1968: Several shot dead in a shootout between Oakland police and the Black Panthers.

April 23, 1968: Columbia University shuts down and more than 700 students arrested.

June 5, 1968: Sirhan B. Sirhan shoots Presidential candidate and US Senator, Bobby Kennedy.

August 20, 1968: Soviet Union invades Czechoslovakia following months of street demonstrations about democracy. Fears of Cold War and Soviet aggression are renewed.

August 26, 1968: Anti-war protesters hold a rioting spree at the Democratic National Convention in Chicago. The "Chicago 7" arrested.

October 16, 1968: American athletes and and world record holders, Tommie Smith and John Carlos raise the symbol of the Black Panthers in protest during the playing of the Star Spangled Banner at the World Olympics and are expelled from the Olympic community.

December 23, 1968: North Koreans finally release 82 crew members of the USS Pueblo after 11 months of accusations of spying.

December 25, 1968: President Johnson approves airlift of aid to Nigeria where almost 1 million Nigerians have died due to starvation.

Sooo...what was Armstrong seeing in 1968? Fear, starvation, dissension, prejudice, murder, war, mayhem, protests, segregation...and yet he was still able to look around him and see beauty in the world.

Just a couple things we can learn from this: 1. The more things change the more they stay the same. 2. The "good old days" had their share of bad because we live in a fallen world and 3. We will usually see the things we are looking for.

So, for today, regardless of what the news reports are, remember those words sung by a black man born in the south at the height of the Jim Crow laws, a grandson of slaves and abandoned by his father.... and sing along with Louis Armstrong as YOU look for the beauty in the world around you.

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
They're really saying I love you.

I hear babies crying, I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll never know
And I think to myself what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world.

A Letter to My Soldier Son on His First Veteran's Day

2010-11-11T12:16:00.000-08:00

Dear Son,

Today, November 11, 2010, is your first Veteran's Day as a soldier in the United States Army.

I have a great admiration for both our veterans and active duty soldiers. When I see a soldier in a public place, if appropriate, I tell him how much I appreciate his service to our country. I think this embarrasses some of them but I can tell that it also makes them proud. This will happen to you, son, and when it does accept the gratefulness of your fellow countrymen with dignity and humility but never put off their gratefulness as if it were no big deal. It is a big deal.

I was thinking this morning about you and I thought of Isaiah 6:8. You remember the context: Isaiah was in the temple and in a vision he heard the Lord say, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?" And he replied, "Here I am! Send me!"

This brought to mind the long line of American soldiers throughout history who have heard the call of duty and responded.

When the tyranny of the British Crown became unbearable for the colonists in 1775, America asked, "Whom shall I send?" Thousands of untrained patriot farmers, smiths, and merchants answered, "Here I am! Send me!"

In 1812, when the British were capturing American citizens and forcing them to serve on their warships, again the call went out "Who will go for us?" And the American soldier said, "Here I am! Send me!"

When the annexation of Texas came under question, President Polk sent a call out to the American people, "Whom shall I send?" Men from all over the east trekked their way west with the response, "Here I am! Send me!"

In those dark days in the mid-1800's when brother fought brother, and the call came from the north and from the south, "Who will go for us?", it was answered by old men, young men, black men and white men who stepped forward to fight for a cause they believed in, answering, "Here I am! Send me!"

After the sinking of the Maine in 1898 and American involvement in a war with Spain, men like one of your heroes, Teddy Roosevelt, needed a volunteer band of infantry and cavalrymen. Once again the American soldier said, "Here I am! Send me!"

In World War I and World War II, a call came from across the ocean for men to fight in The Great Wars...wars they hoped would end all wars. Uncle Sam told thousands of young men, "I want you to go for us." The American solider responded valiantly and bravely said, "Here I am. Send me!"

During the Korean and Vietnam Wars, thousands of American men and women received the call from their country to fight in a war that they didn't understand and that, to many of them, didn't seem right. Yet they did their duty: "Here I am. Send me."

Now we are engaged in a war that has no foreseeable end in a place that seems forsaken by God and embroiled in centuries long disputes that make no sense to the American mind. And yet the call still goes on..."Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?"

Throughout our history, most of our soldiers have been volunteers and today in 2010 every single one of our soldiers has joined the military by choice. The American soldier, time and time again, has said, "Here I am. Send me."

You, my dear son, are a member of that elite group who has heard the call of your country and responded with those affirmative words. You have stood and publicly stated, ""I, Erik Oberg, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God."

And you did it voluntarily. "Here I am! Send me!"

And you do not do it alone. Your father, your little sisters, and I sleep safely tonight in a free country because millions of other fathers, mothers, sisters, husbands, wives, brothers, sons and daughters - some of America's finest - stand ready to be deployed to any trouble spot in the world. You are privileged to walk among the future heroes of this land. They are not rock stars or movie actors who play at being heroes. Our soldiers - both men and women - are the real thing. They have responded to the call with "Here I am! Send me!"

My son, I am proud that you stand among them.

Happy Veteran's Day! Know that your mama never ceases to love and pray for you.

Ad virtutem per sapientiam,
Mom

A Recent Entry from My Journal: Struggling with Sin

2010-07-26T18:58:00.001-07:00

In the words of a Gaither song, "God has blessed me...and the doubts have been few."

There has always been a reason to believe...and to obey.

But, over the past year, I have found myself tempted to flagrantly run away from His will. I have deeply desired a short reprieve from walking on a hard path that He has chosen for me. I have struggled with a battle to give in to temptation to meet my needs in ways outside of what He has clearly revealed to be His will for my life. I have asked Him "Why?" "Why am I struggling with this issue so intently? Why am I so discontent with Your provision?"

God's commands are spiritual - but I'm sure not. I am so often very carnal. I've lived so long in a sinful world that it has become a part of who I am. I was born to it.

I want to follow God and yet I find myself desiring and doing things that I despise. The problem is not that I do not know God's will for this situation. The problem is that I do not really want to do it. I desire God's will but not all the time. When I decide to do good...I don't always follow through on it. When I decide not to do bad...I often find myself doing it anyway. The power of sin within me continues to sabotage my best intentions and I find, once again, that I obviously need help. I don't have what it takes.

I truly delight in God's commands but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. There is a part of me that covertly rebels - and then, when I let my guard down, those desires take charge. In the words of that great country philosopher, Charlie Daniels, "When I have a choice between good and bad I pick bad two out of three."

"I know it's wrong...but I want it." Sigh...what to do?

The reality is that I cannot save myself from this. I cannot sanctify myself any more than I could justify myself. Just as I could not redeem myself from sin I find that I cannot keep myself from sin. I thank God that it is Jesus Christ who can and does save me. It is His righteousness and not my filthy rags of works that I depend on....and His incredible mercy and grace that remembers that I am just dust.

And, if I may be so bold, I think that my Father is pleased that even when I am so pulled by the influence of sin I still crawl back to Him and ask for His help even though He knows that I really DON'T WANT to do things His way. He is still pleased that I have crawled to Him even if it is just to beg for help to be willing to be made willing to obey.

He loves me and I can come to Him. He knows that even though I no longer desire His will in this I still intend to do it. He wants me to learn to walk with Him; and if only the will to walk is there then, perhaps, He is pleased with me even when I stumble.

The key is not in my abundance of desire for God's will but in my steadfast decision to do it anyway.

There is something in me that continues to hold on to Him even when it seems that all I am holding onto is the sheer will to continue....when the desire is gone and nothing holds me here except commitment to follow His path. He still finds pleasure in me even when I find myself functioning, not on desire, but on discipline.

You can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
- Kipling

But, I also believe that God is a Rewarder of those who seek Him...and I continue to wait patiently to see that full revelation of His reward...whether it is here on earth or at the moment when I hope to hear "Well done, good and faithful servant."

From My Morning Devotions...

2010-07-07T07:16:00.000-07:00

Lord, my love is frost and cold, ice and snow;
Let Your love warm me,
lighten my burden,
be my haven of rest;

May that Love be more revealed to me in all its influences
that my love for You may be more fervent and glowing;
Let the crashing tide of Your everlasting love
cover the rocks of my sin and care;

Then let my spirit soar above those things
which else had wrecked my life.

Make me fruitful by living to that love,
my character becoming more beautiful every day.
If traces of Christ's love-artistry be upon me,
may He work on with His divine brush
until the complete image be obtained
and I be made a perfect copy of Him, my Teacher and Guide.

Lord Jesus, come to me
Divine Spirit, rest on me
Holy Father, look on me in mercy and make me like Your Son.

My Perspective on Alcohol

2010-03-09T09:12:00.000-08:00

I have been asked to share my belief about the use of alcohol - specifically Christians and social drinking.

Beliefs are usually formed by a variety of things. As a Christian, I believe that the Scriptures are my authoritative rule of faith and conduct; that means that the Scriptures have the right to tell me what to believe and what to do.

In this instance, the Scriptures do not clearly forbid all use of alcohol. They do specifically forbid drunkenness. Drinking to the point of excess is out of the question for someone claiming the name of Christ, according to the Scriptures. So the question really is: Can a Christian drink alcohol if it is in moderation? I do NOT believe, from a Scriptural standpoint, that I can definitively say that drinking in moderation is sinful behavior. I believe the Christian is free to follow his conscience on the matter.

That said, I will share my personal perspective on the subject. To help you understand why I have come to hold the position that I do about the use of alcohol I must share some of my experience because it has influenced my perception.

My first exposure to alcohol was at about age 8. My sister had married and I was visiting their home. We had found a little lost kitten and my sister said I could keep him. A few days later, her husband had been drinking and thought it would be fun to put whiskey in the kitten's milk. The kitten, feeling no pain, chewed it's little paw off and died. My brother-in-law, again under the influence, thought it was funny and laughed and laughed...

...and I couldn't make him stop.

At age 14, I was asked to go to the rodeo by the cutest guy in our small town. He was 19 and I couldn't believe that he asked ME to go with him. He was so much older and cooler. When we got in the truck, he handed me a bottle of cheap wine. I wanted to impress him and not look like a little kid so I drank enough of it to look "cool." He drank his share, too. Then he pulled over on an dirt road and turned to me...

...and I couldn't make him stop.

At age 15, I was spending the night with my other sister. Her husband came home in the morning from a night of drinking. I could hear my sister screaming from her room downstairs. My nieces woke up and began to calmly get ready for school while listening to their mother's cries...this was not an uncommon occurrence for them. I went to the balcony and looked down into the family room. My sister's blond hair was streaked with red as her drunken husband hit her over and over again...

...and I couldn't make him stop.

At age 20, I attended my sister's funeral. I stood by her casket, looking at the bullet hole in the side of her head placed there by a gun she held in her own hand. She had everything to live for - two daughters age 17 and 12 - but she didn't want to face life with a man who loved booze more than her. Everyone had talked to her about life changes that could be made and how life could turn around...

...but we couldn't make her stop.

I had a precious little girl live with me off and on for four years. She loved her daddy so much and he loved her. All she wanted was to be able to go home and live a normal life with her daddy. Some days she could do it; but there were the other days. The days when Daddy wouldn't wake up. The days when she had to go to the neighbor's house to ask for food. I spent hours with Dad talking to him about how much his little girl needed him and he would cry and say, "I know...and I need her" but the drink just kept calling to him...

...and I couldn't make him stop.

I have visited AA meetings with friends and listened to the heartbreaking stories of broken finances, broken families and broken lives. People who were at the point that they WANTED to quit...

...but they just couldn't make it stop.

If I thought these stories were isolated occurrences and anomalies I might not feel as strongly as I do. But they are not isolated. My experiences are repeated thousands of times over again across my town, my country, and the world I live in.

Therefore, I have come to this conclusion: Wine is a mocker, strong drink is a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise.

My experience with alcohol has shown to me that I am unable to stop it and it's effects. It puts me in situations where I am not in control of my faculties and am around others who are not in control either. This does not sound wise to me, and therefore, I have chosen not to drink nor to frequent places where drinking is the main purpose.

This does not mean that I do not go out with friends who drink at the dinner table. I have had fantastic evenings with friends who are having a glass of wine or some other drink with our meal...and I do not condemn them for doing so.

But, as for me and my house, we have taken a pledge of abstinence. I do not condemn those who drink in moderation because I don't believe that Scripture would do so. But it seems to me that playing with alcohol is like trying to have a rattlesnake for a pet. You just never know when it's going to turn around and strike you.

I believe that I am free to have a glass of wine if I want to...but wisdom has told me not to and I am going to listen to that voice.

So there's my perspective.

I don't watch the Ellen show but I'd love to see Joyce Drake get her due

2010-01-21T06:15:00.001-08:00

Here's the deal: for YEARS this album has topped the "Worst Album Covers" lists. It's on every website, it's been published in books, and this week Jeff Bridges showed it on the Ellen show. Joyce's picture has been photoshopped hundreds of times in less than flattering (and some down-right disgusting) pictures.

I knew her when I was a kid. She's actually a very nice lady and we had this album. As I remember, she's actually a pretty good singer. She's also a fellow Assemblies of God pastor's wife from Texas.

Her image has been used hundreds of times on the internet and in print publications. There are entire websites and fan pages on facebook dedicated to this album cover and making fun of Joyce. She has never received one dime of compensation for the use of her image and name.

Soooo....since Jeff Bridges decided to put her on the Ellen show I think that Ellen should be encouraged to let Joyce come on the show and show everyone that she's really pretty cool, has a great message and a great voice to go with it.

I'm asking you to let Ellen know that Joyce needs her 15 minutes of GOOD fame. Go to http://ellen.warnerbros.com/show/respond/?PlugID=253 OR you can call 866-355-3684. Just let them know that you would love to see Joyce Drake have a few moments on the show to discuss all of this. I think Ellen is crazy enough to do it...which would be pretty cool.

There is also a facebook group that Joyce's family has put together about it: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=282203757058&ref=ts

Just to show what kind of "fun" people have had with this album check out this facebook group: http://www.facebook.com/search/?q=joyce+drake&init=quick#/group.php?gid=7230032851&ref=search&sid=887495690.2048305977..1

Thanks for helping out!
Ruthie

Is the Haiti earthquake God's judgment?

2010-01-19T11:45:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine wrote and asked me what my take is on the statements being made about the earthquake in Haiti being God's judgment for sin. Is it good theology or not?

Well...the answer is "yes" and "no."

Support for the "yes, it is good theology to say that God uses catastrophes to judge nations, cities, and individuals for their sin" is found throughout Scripture. Common examples would include Noah's flood, Sodom and Gomorrah, and the judgment on Israel after David's census. The prophetic books consist of chapter after chapter detailing God's chastisement on nations for their national sins. Even in the New Testament we read of promised judgment on "Babylon" in the book of Revelation. After all, the main writer of the New Testament made this bold statement: "The wages of sin IS death"...all the time, every time. One really cannot come away from a thorough reading of Scripture and doubt that it is a good understanding of the nature of God that He is the Ultimate Judge of sin and that when His judgment falls it is swift and sure.

SO....all that said...is Pat Robertson right? Was the earthquake and devastation in Haiti the direct result of their national sin of voodooism? Well, it very well could be.

However, there is also much Scriptural support for the "No, it is bad theology to say that catastrophe is the result of God's judgment." There is an entire book in the Bible that backs up this claim: The Book of Job. Remember Job's friends? Their theological understanding was actually quite right. God does punish sin. However, their application of that theology was quite wrong. God does punish sin...but He was not punishing Job. There was more to the story that had not yet been revealed.

Jesus actually answered this question for us in Luke 13:1-5. As He was teaching, men came to him and asked about a current news event: Pilate had some worshipers slaughtered right in the Temple courts. "What do you think about this, Jesus?" Jesus' response was to bring up another natural event (the decay of some towers that had fallen and crushed 18 men) and then to use both of the current events to drive home this Truth: "Do not suppose that these men were greater sinners because of their fate. No, listen to Me on this point: Unless you repent, you will all perish just like they did."

Note that Jesus did not say that the men who died were not sinners. He simply said they were not GREATER sinners than anyone else standing there that day. I believe there are a few principles we can draw from the way Jesus responded to these two tragedies of His day:

1. Great suffering does not necessarily equate with great sinning. Be careful not to confuse the two. Gold is cast into the fire to be purified just the same as chaff is cast in to be consumed.
2. Do not make use of current events to criticize those who are suffering, as if their sin is any worse than your own.
3. Tragedy should cause us to examine our own need for repentance.
4. Our place is to preach Truth (which includes that the wages of sin is death) and to leave the judgment in the hands of the Judge. Remember, God's harshest words in the book of Job were reserved for Job's friends who had good theology but bad application.

So...was it God's judgment on sin? Well, sure. All of the negative effects that come from living in a fallen world are the results of sin. I doubt, however, that the sins of those Haitians were any more despicable in the eyes of God than my own sins. I deserve judgment just as much as they did...and without repentance my judgment is just as sure.

Let's remember that there are parts of the Great Story we have not yet read. Watch the news, pray for the suffering, do what we can to ease that suffering....and look into our own hearts because, as Jesus said, "unless you repent, you will all likewise perish." (Luke 13: 5)

Thoughts this morning on Haiti...and God

2010-01-15T10:10:00.000-08:00

While hearing the news this week and looking at the pictures of the devastation in Haiti, my mind began to wonder what it might be like to be Jesus. Imagine the sights His eyes must see as He views the pain and suffering going on all around the world, not just in Haiti but in the brothels of Delhi, in the business rooms of Beijing, and in the family rooms of Des Moines. Imagine the cries that His ears must daily hear. Imagine the loving heart of the Creator being broken by what has happened to His creation over the years of recorded history.

Is it any wonder that He decided to step into history, take on human flesh, and participate in our suffering? We often think along these lines "How could a loving God just stand by and watch this take place?" Well, the truth is, He doesn't just "stand by"....He enters into the suffering, partakes in it, and then provides a way of relief from it. He did so in the Incarnation over 2000 years ago, and He is still "putting on flesh" through every relief worker that gives a cup of clean water in His name. He is there in every dollar that buys food for a hungry child and in every construction worker that assembles a safe shelter for a defenseless woman without a home. He is the added strength that allows a pastor to comfort a grieving father while his own home lies in wreckage.

Imagine how the heart of the Creator must long for the fullness of time when all of creation is restored! He must yearn for that time when redemption is fully realized....and there will be no more tsunamis, no more earthquakes, no more rape, no more genocide, no more war, no more divorce, no more sickness...and no more death. Romans 8 tells us that even creation itself is groaning for its redemption.

But you know what? I believe God's heart must be looking forward to that time of the fullness of redemption even more than mine is.

Help me feel your heart today, Lord...and then help me to be your hands.

Resolutions and Jonathan Edwards

2010-01-04T09:31:00.000-08:00

I have always been a New Year's Resolution type person because I love setting new goals and having something to use as a tool to evaluate my progress. Some resolutions get repeated every year, some get tweaked, some serve their time and are crossed off the list, and some are just ridiculous and get tossed at the end of the year. For the past 4 years I have had at least one resolution that has stayed the same: to be more fun. I mentioned this one to the children at breakfast this morning to see how I did last year. I, personally, felt that I had more fun last year but, apparently, the children didn't notice. Note to self: have more fun WITH children in 2010.

I also like to read through other people's resolutions. Sounds voyeuristic, I know, but you can learn an awful lot about another person by looking at their immediate and long-term goals. One of the papers on my desk is a list of 70 Resolutions of Jonathan Edwards, pastor and theologian of the First Great Awakening. He wrote these over the years of 1722 and 1723.

His first resolution is this: "Resolved, that I will do whatsoever I think to be most to God's glory, and my own good, profit and pleasure, in the whole of my duration, without any consideration of the time, whether now, or never so many myriad's of ages hence. Resolved to do whatever I think to be my duty and most for the good and advantage of mankind in general. Resolved to do this, whatever difficulties I meet with how many and how great soever."

I like the way he puts the priority of his decision making: 1. Is this to the glory of God? If no, then cross it off the list. If yes, move on to 2. Is this to my own good? It may be for the glory of God but is this something that God has given to ME to do? If no, then cross it off my list for the time being or delegate it on to someone else or make it a matter of prayer that the right person will take it on. If it is something that I should do then 3. How do I do it in a way that it works for the most good for the advantage of mankind in general?

So, here's a resolution for me on January 5, 2010: Resolved, to make my decisions about my time based on three things - 1. God's glory 2. My personal place and priorities as I understand them and 3. To do those things in a way that would be of the best advantage for others.

Sounds like a good way to kick off the new year. Happy New Year!

Confessions of A Football Widow, pt 1: I Encounter Football

2009-10-12T06:13:00.000-07:00

"Becoming a football fan usually happens naturally: you were raised in a family who liked to watch football, your high school boyfriend was the starting quarterback, or something about the game just spoke to you. But what happens when you’ve never developed a taste for the game — and you marry someone who absolutely loves it? It could mean many lonely winter months for you unless you learn to embrace the sport that has captivated your husband." Tori76 at Ehow

I was aware of the existence of football before I married. I grew up in Texas where high school football is a sort of "religious experience" but, outside of watching my brother carry his 400 pound tuba around in the marching band and going to the championship game to watch Eric Dickerson lead our Sealy Tigers to State in 1979, football and I existed in a parallel universe.

I married Shawn in May of 1989. What a beautiful summer it was. Yes, my husband would disappear on Saturday morning, only to return bloody, muddy, bruised, and happy in the afternoon. "I am man. I play football. I rub other man's face in mud and blood." This statement would be followed by a sort of primal guttural sound accompanied by an odd little dance resembling something out of the opening scene of The Crucible.

While I had never personally observed a man behave this way, I had heard of the phenomenon and thought it was cute and was happy to have him have this unique outlet in life. Why not? No harm is done (at least to me...I wasn't the one covered in blood and mud) and it's only a few hours on Saturday morning. Let the boy have some fun.

Summer progressed and oh, how I loved the Sundays of our first summer of marriage. We would come home from church, have a quick lunch together, and then cuddle up for a Sunday afternoon nap. Sigh...isn't marriage wonderful!

May melted into June which faded into July and August.

Then came September.

Something happens to a certain breed of men in September. The air turns crisp, the leaves start to change, and their little hearts begin to beat in faster palpitation at the thought of what is just around the corner - a new season of pigskin passing.

I was simply not prepared for this change. There were no warning signs before the insanity began. One Sunday he was mine and the next Sunday he was...WHERE WAS HE?

In retrospect, it might have been easier if we had taken time for a little talk beforehand, kind of like Lon Cheney explaining his unique transformation in the old werewolf movies. "Honey, I know this will be hard for you to understand. I don't understand it myself but every year at about this time I.......change. Something possesses me and I become a mad, howling creature. It will be shocking and horrifying for you but you must be strong. I can overcome it if you'll only stick with me, baby."

But we didn't do that.

I remember the first Sunday of football season, 1989. We had a lovely time at church, I came home and prepared lunch, and then slipped off into the bedroom to prepare for our naptime. I waited....and waited. What on earth is he doing out there? I padded out to find my man.

To my horror, there, in my own living room, I beheld an entirely new mutant curiosity. Something that looked like my husband had parked itself in front of the television, surrounded by Dorito bags and sausage, with it's feet up on the coffee table. Whatever it was, it was completely oblivious to anything happening in the world around it, including the fact that it was Sunday afternoon and "naptime."

"What are you doing?" I asked the lump that had taken over my husband. There was no response so I gently kicked it. "Hello? You in there?" Blank eyes returned my inquiry while a numb and trembling hand raised a dorito to the creatures mouth.

I did what any normal frantic wife would do in such a situation where her husband is obviously sick and in need of intervention. I stood in front of the television.

This got his attention.

"HEY, YOU'RE BLOCKING THE GAME!"

"Yes, dear...are you alright? It's Sunday afternoon. This is when we always...."

"GET OUT OF THE WAY. SOMETHING MIGHT BE....ARGH...I MISSED IT!" (insert soundtrack of wild screams of "playback, playback")

Obviously, I did not know this person who was currently incapable of conversation so I went off to my room to contemplate this new development. Mom said there would be days like this. Well, Scarlett, tomorrow is another day.

Yes, it was another day. It was Monday.

I came home from a day of school and work, prepared dinner, and planned for an evening of "making up" for what was missed yesterday afternoon.

It was then that I was introduced to another cultural phenomena of which I was previously unaware: Monday Night Football.

The creature was back.

The rest of the week went well. I noticed he was disappearing into the bathroom with the newspaper more but, perhaps, he was just concerned about Saddam Hussein and the situation in Kuwait and wanted to be more informed.

Then Saturday came. I was accustomed by this point to the Saturday morning games with the buddies. But now a new friend came into my life: College teams.

There were no end to them! They played back to back, on every channel, ALL DAY!

There he was again...the "thing" that took over my husband's body and mind. Sitting on my couch, eating expensive food, responding in grunts, with an occasional scream and rant and a thousand choice comments about coaches, referees, linebackers, and other strange and unusual new vocabulary words.

Something had to be done to reign this creature in...and quickly.

NEXT POST: Confessions of a Football Widow, pt 2: I Attempt to Rescue my Husband from Football

For my son...on his 18th birthday

2009-09-23T09:04:00.000-07:00

Today my son, Erik, is 18. Today our culture pronounces him "adult" and "mature." He is able to vote, join the army, buy a gun and purchase any drink his wallet will allow. :)

But legal maturity is only one aspect of maturation. There is also physical, practical, and moral maturity. These seem to come at different ages. I have seen kids who physically matured at 13 and some 40 year olds that still haven't come to practical maturity. Chronology has very little to do with moral maturity, as well. Oftentimes, 7 year olds understand morality and ethics better than adults.

I was listening to a lecture recently on "virtus" and the importance it played in the development of the Roman Republic. "Virtus," translated to the English "virtue" has as its root the word "vir," meaning "man." The picture it protrays is that to be virtuous is to be a "man of honor." As I think about this process of a boy becoming a man I want my son to realize that chronology doesn't make a man. "Virtus" does. Honor. Integrity. Nobility. Wisdom. These are the things that seperate the men from the boys.

Many times I have pointed my son to the following poem, written by Rudyard Kipling. Kipling wrote this tender poem for his own son and I don't think I can improve on it.

Happy Birthday, Erik...Ad virtutem per sapientiam

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Morning Devotions with John Newton

2009-09-22T07:07:00.000-07:00

Has it REALLY been all summer since I've posted? Yikes! Well...it's the first day of Fall so here's another new start for me! :)

I pulled out my old Olney Hymnal this morning at the suggestion of a friend (Thanks, William G!) and read through some great words penned by John Newton. He was in the habit of writing a hymn to go with his sermons preached at the Olney Parish. He eventually, along with neighbor William Cowper, published this collection of hymns in the Olney Hymnal. This little book introduced the world to "Amazing Grace" (Newton) and "There is a Fountain Filled With Blood" (Cowper).

Original 1779 price? 2 shillings. I paid much more than that for my copy from the Cowper and Newton Museum in 2004. Imagine putting down your thoughts and having people still paying to own them 225 years later? That's durability.

The one I read this morning is Hymn 53: "One There Is, Above All Others." He wrote this one to go with a sermon on Proverbs 18:24 "There is a friend who sticketh closer than a brother."
Verses 5 and 6 really stood out to me:

Would we bear from one another,
What He daily bears from us?
Yet this glorious Friend and Brother,
Loves us tho' we treat Him thus:
Tho' for good we render ill,
He accounts us brethren still.

Oh! for grace our hearts to soften!
Teach us, Lord, at length to love;
We, alas, forget too often,
What a Friend we have above:
But when home our souls are brought,
We will love Thee as we ought.

"Lord, remind me today of the great love you have toward me. It is so true that I would not stand to be treated by someone else the way I so often treat You. I ignore You when you speak, I do not respond to Your messages, I blame You for things that You didn't do, I take advantage of Your kindness, and take from You so much more than I give. Grant me grace to return Your friendship today in the small and feeble way in which I am able....help me to be a faithful friend."

Follow Up on "Up" - When Dreams Die

2009-06-24T14:13:00.000-07:00

“Dreams are illustrations... from the book your soul is writing about you.” - Marsha Norman

Gracie and I, along with our friend, Ms. Georgia, finally got out to see the Pixar movie, "Up" this afternoon.

Essentially, it is a movie about dreams. Carl, an elderly man, has a fossilized dream that he shared with his life-long love, Elle. Russell, a little Wilderness Explorer Scout, has a fantasized dream about finishing his last club badge - and how it will make his father notice him again. Charles Muntz, a long forgotten explorer thought to be a fraud, has a vengeful dream to vindicate his reputation. Dug, an adorable pup, has a dream of just being loved by a faithful master.

That's a lot of dreaming.

Have you ever had that experience where you have had a great dream only to awaken before you were ready? You lie there in those moments between wakefulness and sleep and try to recapture what was there. You hate to let yourself fully awaken to the new morning because you're just not ready to leave that dream behind in the dark night. That is what has happened to our hero, Carl, in this movie. Life was good to Carl...he married his true love and together they dreamed of travel and adventure and all they would do and see. But the realities of life get in the way of dreams, don't they? Busted tires and home repairs drain travel funds. We find ourselves old and gray and without the adventures we had promised we would have. And just when we finally get to that point when we can buy those tickets to South America...well, something happens that finally kills the dream completely.

Susan Boyle of Britain's Got Talent recently reminded us of the great lyrics from the musical Les Miserables.

There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time...
Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame

And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

I thought of that song while watching Carl in the movie. As young people in America, we are consistently told to follow our dreams, to dream big, to never let go of our dreams. In this movie, we see another side. As great as "dreaming big" truly is, sometimes our dreams can sidetrack us from an even greater design for our lives. As difficult as it may be, sometimes dreams do, indeed, die.

In this movie, I saw a dreamer disappointed, disenchanted, disgruntled and dissatisfied. A dreamer betrayed by the harsh realities of life. Much like Fantine, of Les Miserables, "life has killed the dream" he dreamed. So what now? What do we do when the realities of life kill our dreams?

We can, like Carl, decide to see them fulfilled no matter the cost, no matter the danger...no matter who we have to hurt in the process. Mid-movie we see Carl mourning an unfulfilled dream. Then later, through much determination and hard work, we see him finally achieve the dream. He moves that house right where the dream said it should be and then finds that while some dreams are unfulfilled... some are just unfulfilling.

Ray Boltz sang "I've had visions and I've had dreams. I've even held them in my hands. But I never knew they could slip right through like they were only grains of sand." Some dreams must be buried in those grains of sand...and new dreams and adventures begun.

If dreams are truly "illustrations from the book our soul is writing" sometimes we must be willing to let one chapter close and find the courage to start another.

"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." C.S. Lewis

Second Lenten Sunday with the Anglicans

2009-04-11T07:20:00.002-07:00

3/8/09

Our adventure this Sunday morning is one that Erik and I have been looking forward to for some time. It is not easy for us to arrange our schedules to be gone on a Sunday morning but the day has finally arrived when we are going to visit an Anglican church plant, Holy Cross Anglican Church, at their current meeting location at the Holiday Inn Express in Omaha. Here is a link to their very helpful website: http://www.holycrossomaha.net/

We've been looking forward to this because we both have an affinity for the Anglican church (I'll have to blog about this some other time). My heart has been broken for this worldwide Communion for the last several years as they are so divided on the very basic tenets of the Christian faith and it has been tearing at the soul of the Anglican communion - a church that has blessed the world with some of the greatest Christian thinkers and writers that the western church has known.

We arrived in time for morning prayers which is a liturgical reading of the daily office from the Book of Common Prayer (BOCP). I was quite proud of us for having purchased and brought along two very nice BOCP so that we would be ready to participate. Upon arrival we showed our prayer books to Father Novak when he welcomed us. He told us that the version we had was rather controversial and had been rejected by most of the Reformed Episcopal Church. Apparently I have a "liberal" version. Who knew?

Anyway, he offered us another one to use and we sat in the front next to Rev. Novak's wife so that we could follow along with her through the liturgy. This is our second liturgical service to attend and both times we found those around us very helpful in guiding us to the right places. They also had a VERY helpful guide in both the bulletin and one published just for visitors. They were certainly a very "visitor friendly" congregation.

This church sees itself as becoming a "hub" of churches to plant the historic Anglican faith in this area and to participate in a new reformation in this communion. To this I say a hearty "Amen" as it seems that the American Episcopal Church has strayed so far from the historic teachings of the Anglican Communion and the basic tents of orthodox Christianity. I am excited to begin to fellowship with this congregation of reformers! Some of them shared with me how they have left their former parishes due to the heretical doctrines being taught after having attended their entire lives. The rector made this statement: When Jesus builds His Church the gates of hell will not prevail against it...whether they be millions or just a few.

I did find that the liturgy moved too fast for me. What I was reading as we went through the BOCP was very meaningful, but because I was not familiar with it, much of it was lost on me. I think if I were to attend a church like this regularly I would want to read through the daily prayers BEFORE coming so that I could affirm them as an individual and then celebrate them with my fellow believers.

The sermon was packed with things that interested both Erik and I as much of it was an apologetic for liturgical worship. Here are just a few of the major points:

1. The Church is called to look back to what was given to her by God and not to "get creative with it." The pastor was making reference, certainly, to doctrine but also to the form of worship that was established at the beginning of Christianity. Christianity is an "offshoot" of Judaism which is a very ritualistic and liturgical religion. Jesus would have worshiped liturgically. Since early Christians were familiar with this form of worship it would seem that their early services were also liturgical.

2. He made the statement "those who believe you can't pray from a prayer book need to toss out their hymnals." (Sadly, I could inform him that many of us have done just that.) This was an interesting revelation for me. I regularly use my hymnal in my devotions...but I never really looked at it as a "prayer book" yet that is exactly how I use it. The words in my hymnal were written by someone else and yet have many times brought me to tears because they reflect my heart toward God. This gave me something to chew on as I consider the place of non-extemporaneous prayers.

3. He used Titus 1:4,5 to give a defense of apostolic succession. I will not articulate it as well as he did but it went along these lines: Paul ordained Titus, his "true child in the common faith," and commissioned him as a "bishop" of the island of Crete where Titus was to set the church in order and it was his responsibility, as a bishop, to appoint elders/pastors in the different cities. This shows that the early church had an ORDER of establishing churches. It was not done just because someone said, "Let's start a church and find ourselves a pastor and some deacons, etc." There is an unbroken chain of ordination throughout church history. He used the illustration that Al Gore may have believed himself to be a duly elected president in 2000 but he wasn't...because he wasn't part of an unbroken chain of men who had taken the oath of office regardless of what he believed. It is the same way with ordination. One can't simply decide to start ordaining people. He gave one of the best defenses of apostolic succession that I have ever heard.

4. He also addressed the "funny clothes" that priests wear. He describes them as a "uniform" that distinguishes the clergy much like a policeman wears a uniform to distinguish his availability to those around him. The uniform is interchangeable with any other clergyman and, therefore, keeps "personality cults" down to a minimum because you approach the clergy as an officer of the church not as "a man that you happen to like." This keeps people from identifying the church too readily with a certain man.

5. He also made an interesting observation with regard to the Church body: Rapid changes are usually a sign of a cancer not of healthy growth. Beware of any organization that constantly pushes "change."

All in all, he gave us a lot to chew on.

After the service, there was a fellowship brunch. Everyone was so very friendly to us. There were about 15 in attendance (this is a new church with no building of their own). The pastor took a full HOUR with us to answer questions and was very knowledgeable and personable.

Afterward, Erik and I enjoyed a leisurely lunch together and had some deep conversation about some of the things we had just heard.

I believe that we will be back to visit this new congregation. I am excited about what God is doing in this historic Church and I want to encourage this branch that is fighting for the "faith once delivered for all the saints."

Ash Wednesday at St. Cecilia's Cathedral

2009-04-11T06:15:00.000-07:00

2/25/09

Today I attended my first Ash Wednesday service. I went to St. Cecilia's Cathedral in Omaha. I went alone as most everyone else was busy but I think that was the best way for me to attend. It allowed me to focus on the service and my own reflection.

Ash Wednesday is the first day of Lent, the season of preparation for the celebration of the resurrection of Christ on Easter. Growing up in a "free church" denomination we do not observe Lent. My entire life I have experienced the "high" of Palm Sunday followed immediately by the "high" of Easter Sunday...with nothing in between. We waved palm branches one Sunday and the next time we met we celebrated the resurrection. But we never really observed what happened in between, at least not in an organized intentional way.

I have always felt Easter sort of "sneaking up" on me and I never felt prepared for it as I do for Christmas. We start getting ready for the celebration of the birth of Christ the day after Thanksgiving...not because it's a religious thing but because it's a cultural thing. We can't escape preparing for Christmas...it's everywhere around us. But Easter always seems to catch me by surprise because I don't prepare for it and look forward to it and anticipate it by the things I do in my home and church.

Anyway, here's just a few of the things I observed today during and after the Ash Wednesday service...

1. Ash Wednesday is a day that I intentionally repent of my sins and mourn the hurt that they have caused. Sprinkling ashes on the head is an ancient tradition that symbolizes repentance and mourning. I am familiar with this concept in the Old Testament writings. I appreciated the time given in this Catholic service to sit in utter silence and confess my sins to God. I like the liturgical concept of confession of sins before entering into worship. I think this is healthy. Far too often we come into a church worship service with no thought of what may be causing a blockage between our spirit and the Presence of God. As the placed the ashes on the forehead one of the things he said to each participant was "Turn away from sin and be faithful to the Gospel." I need that message, not just today, but everyday.

2. Ash Wednesday is a day that I intentionally embrace the concept of humility. While I didn't participate in the application of ashes because I was not sure that it was for non-catholics, as I watched the others I did sense how "humiliating" it would be to stand before this huge crowd and allow my face to be marred with an ugly black mark. I had never identified the attribute of "humility" with "humiliation" but they are obviously very closely related. I have grown up in a culture that teaches me to "put my best face forward." That was not the lesson I learned here in this ancient ritual. What I was encouraged to do here was to publicly and visibly bear the mark of the Cross for all the world to see my identification with the sufferings of Jesus...even if it made me look odd and out of place. Some of the words whispered by the priest as he placed the ashes were "Remember, O man, that you are dust, and unto dust you shall return." In other words, "Get over yourself."

3. Ash Wednesday is a day in which I begin a 40 day season of intentional self-denial. I am not trying to "earn points" with God. I am training my flesh to be in submission to my spirit. I am taking the money I would normally spend on a certain thing and giving it to those in need. I am intentionally taking extra time out of my day that I would normally focus on "feeding my fleshly needs" and putting that focus on communion with God. I believe that this practice of self-denial will develop my ability to say "no" to myself when things that I want are in conflict with the things that God wants.

4. Ash Wednesday is a day when I experience greater unity with other believers. Even though I didn't bear on my face the marks of the cross, as I went through the day I saw many others who did. When I saw them I felt a kinship with them...fellow believers who, on that day, had also taken the same vows to repent, to humble themselves before God and to fast. I found myself wanting to run up to each of them and talk and share our stories. Then I remembered that I had not taken the ashes...and I found myself wishing that I had. Perhaps next year???

While I am not ready to make participation in a service such as Ash Wednesday a requirement for Christianity, I do feel that my Easter season and my preparation for it were deeply enriched by attending this service today. Thank you to the congregation at St. Cecelia's Cathedral for allowing this protestant pentecostal girl to share in your services.

Quinquagesima - Sunday before Lent with the Lutherans

2009-04-07T08:53:00.000-07:00

2/22/09

Today I have arranged things so that Erik and I are both free of responsibilities in the morning service at our church. It is the last Sunday before Lent...where shall we go this morning? We wanted to attend a new Anglican church plant in Omaha but got our map directions wrong and were not able to make it on time. So we settled on St. Paul's Lutheran Church in Council Bluffs. http://stpaulslutheran-cb.org/

St. Paul's is a Lutheran Church in the Missouri Synod. It doesn't have much to do with Missouri, other than being headquarted in St. Louis. It is smaller and more conservative than the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America. We arrived just as they were getting started with the Christian Education hour.

Since Erik is 17, I gave him the option of attending a youth class but he chose to stick with me in the adult session. We met in a fellowship hall and it was very well attended. I noticed a variety of ages in attendance. We joined a table at the back and the people nodded their welcome since the class was beginning and they didn't want to interrupt the speaker.

Our teacher was the pastor, Rev. Nathan Sherrill. He was younger than I expected and led us in an opening hymn "The Son of God Goes Forth to War." This was a new one to me but the group sang it with gusto and it was easy to join in. Erik liked it.

The class was beginning a study on the book of Galatians and after opening comments from Pastor Sherrill it was announced that we would read the entire book together as a group with a volunteer leader for each chapter. I love the book of Galatians and after sitting through the other readings I decided to be quite bold and stood to read the sixth chapter. I was a little hesitant as all the other readers had been male and I was not completely sure, as a female, that I wouldn't be out of line but no one seemed to be bothered by a female guest participating in the reading. At least, if they were, they didn't mention it to me.

The pastor then opened up the floor for Q & A and I was very impressed with the biblical literacy of the class. The questions that were asked were thoughtful and I could tell that the group was accustomed to discussing meaningful topics. There was no cotton-candy, seeker-sensitive stuff here. These were mature believers looking to discuss and interact on principles of Scripture. I wasn't ready for the class to end when it did.

We went up to the beautiful sanctuary for the service. According to the bulletin, this was Quinquagesima - refering to the 50 days before Easter and being the first Sunday before the beginning of the Lenten Season on Ash Wednesday. This wasn't explained too well; I had to look it up. However, the theme of the service was outlined in the bulletin. I liked that. Sometimes church services seem to be a collection of organized chaos...I liked that the theme of what we were focusing on that day was easily available to me. The focus of the day was on the understanding that following Jesus in His death is what wins the battle against "the old evil foe." The hymns and the sermon all focused on "The Church Militant." Quoting from the bulletin: "Satan would love to orchestrate a theological lullaby in our church, but Christ's people can remain vilgilant." Honestly, I wasn't expecting to hear that in a Lutheran church at all. It's refreshing to be reminded that spiritual warfare predates C. Peter Wagner.

The other worshippers could see that we were rather "lost" in the liturgy and very graciously showed us which page to go to in the worship book. The lady sitting next to us was a German immigrant and was very enjoyable as a "pewmate." She spoke to us both before and after the service.

I noticed that they prayed specifically for members of the church who were in need...especially those who were sick or in the armed forces. I got the impression that this is done every Sunday. It's also good to be reminded that belief in the healing power of God predates the pentecostal movement.

We read quite a bit of Scripture and the sermon on the militancy of the church was well presented. I have heard us Pentecostals remark that the mainline churches are ignoring the scriptures but that was certainly not the case here. There was more scripture reading in this service than I am accustomed to. I liked reading together as a congregation. It made me feel like an active participant rather then just a passive listener.

The pastor took time after the service to speak with us personally. I like that. So many churches we are herded in and herded out and never speak to anyone resembling a pastor. This was not the case here. All in all it was a good morning and a great way to begin the Lenten Season.

The bulletin was full of activities to attend...some of which I was tempted to add to my already over crowded calendar. However, I let the idea of attending the pork and sauerkraut dinner go by the wayside...apparently there's still a lot of Germany in the Lutheran church.

What I am Learning About Lent

2009-03-10T10:19:00.000-07:00

I do intend to write on some of the more practical aspects of observing Lent as I am discovering so many exciting things but, right now, I am learning so much about the philosophy behind it that I want to share with you.

My understanding of Lent had been that people "gave up __________" for Lent and, really, I considered it to be a very "works-based" form of penance that is unnecessary since Jesus has already paid for my sins and nothing I can DO will make me any more worthy of His forgiveness. To me, that is the beautiful freedom of the Gospel: salvation is by faith alone through grace alone dependent on His work and not mine.

However, the more I study on this the more I believe that I have been missing something precious! It seems that the practice of something similar to Lent has a prototype in the life of Jesus.

"Immediately, the Holy Spirit urged Jesus into the desert. There, for forty days, alone except for desert animals, he was subjected to Satan's temptations to sin. And, afterwards, the angels came and cared for him." Mark 1:12-13

We don't know a lot about the forty days Jesus spent in the wilderness before He began His public ministry. We do know that it was a time of fasting and learning to discipline his flesh during temptation...and, while not specifically mentioned, I'm sure it included prayer. When the devil came to Him, the words of Scripture were quick on His tongue so it must have also been a time of meditation on the Word of God.

Here's what I can see from this Scripture:

1. This was intentional time away from the regular routine to focus on spiritual discipline.
2. It was instigated by the Holy Spirit.
3. It was for an extended and set time.
4. It included solitude.
5. It was a time of learning to say "NO" to Satan, to the flesh, and to pride.
6. The activities seemed to have a focus on fasting, meditating on Scripture and, by inference, prayer.
7. He was ministered to and comforted by angels in the end.

Was Jesus trying to EARN anything from God in these 40 days? No...there is no evidence of that. What WAS the purpose?

My study in looking up the Old Testament references that Jesus used in combatting temptation led me to Deuteronomy 8 where I found an interesting principle that relates to the purposes of intentional "wilderness time." As the Israelites were in the desert 40 years, so Jesus was in the desert 40 days. Listen to what God said about the purpose of that desert time:

"You shall remember all the way which the Lord your God has led you in the wilderness these forty years, that He might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not. He humbled you and let you be hungry...that He might make you understand that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by everything that proceeds out of the mouth of the Lord." Deuteronomy 8:2,3

The purposes here in these verses would be:

1. To cause us to remember how the Lord has led us
2. To bring about humility
3. To test the content and character of our heart
4. To test our commitment to keep His commandments when it is not easy to do so
5. To allow ourselves to be hungry so that we realize that there is more to life to desire than just the things of earth

This leads me to ask myself this question: WHAT IF I decided to intentionally take an extended and set amount of time, at the leading of the Holy Spirit, to pull away from the regular routine of life and practice intentional self-denial for the purpose of bringing the contents of my heart open before the Lord and allowing Him to take this time to show me purpose in suffering and sacrifice?

WHAT IF thousands of unified believers, all over the world, chose to do this at the same time every year at the direction of their spiritual leaders? WHAT IF we chose to do that in the weeks preceding the greatest celebration of the greatest victory over Sin, Satan, and Self? Would it be possible that the celebration of Resurrection would take on a whole new meaning as we partake of the sufferings and sacrifice of our Lord through the practice of crucifying our fleshy desires with fasting, humility, and giving?

I think I've changed my mind about Lenten observation being a "works-based penance." I think it could well be an avenue of knowing Jesus in the way Paul writes about in Philippians 3:

"I didn't want some petty, inferior brand of righteousness that comes from keeping a list of rules when I could get the robust kind that comes from trusting Christ—God's righteousness. I gave up all that inferior stuff so I could know Christ personally, experience his resurrection power, be a partner in his suffering, and go all the way with him to death itself. If there was any way to get in on the resurrection from the dead, I wanted to do it." (Philippians 3:9-11 The Message)

Two Churches Battle It Out with Their Signs...

2009-03-06T11:21:00.000-08:00

I know I promised that the next blog would be about the Ash Wednesday service last week (I hope to still get to that today) but my sister sent me this and, in the interest of church unity in the broader expressions of Christianity, I thought I would share it with you.

Apparently, these two churches - one Presbyterian and one Catholic - are across the street from each other and their theological differences spilled over onto their church signs when the Catholics placed "All Dogs Go to Heaven" on their sign...

Why I Have Decided to Observe Lent...

2009-03-03T08:08:00.000-08:00

There it is in black and white: I am observing Lent this year.

I was raised classic southern pentecostal. I wouldn't have chosen any other upbringing. I love my heritage and it's history. The stories my father, grandfather, and great-grandfather would share of the power of God always thrilled me and made me want to experience all I could of God's presence. The main things I was taught as a child were that "what God once did He is still doing." "The God of the book of Acts is the same God we serve." "When it comes to His presence never settle for anything less or for anything more." "We are to seek to be a New Testament church."

I was also raised with the belief that God had delivered us out of the apostate church of "mainline-ism" and that all of the trappings of the historical churches were not only absent from the New Testament church but were, at the least, a distraction to worship and, at worst, Satan's plan to return the church to an Old Testament concept of priests, rituals, and sacred days of rules and regulations.

My exposure to church history growing up was mostly limited to the revival movements of the past. We revered the names of John and Charles Wesley but scorned what the Methodists had become. We lauded the bravery of Martin Luther but would never have stepped into a Lutheran church. I remember listening, with fascination, to my father wax eloquent in the pulpit about the martyrdom of Cranmer, Latimer, and Ridley but never knew anything about their life outside of their final moments and certainly nothing of the Church of England. Jonathan Edwards and George Whitefield were very familiar names but we always focused on the aspects of their lives as it related to awakening revival rather than what they believed about serving God in plain old ordinary day to day living.

I began this journey of opening my mind to participation in the historical churches about five years ago when I began a personal study of the history and development of the English Bible. (Extraordinary story - full of the most fascinating people and events! I'll have to do a few blogs on that sometime). As part of that study, I took a trip to England and spent two weeks with an evangelical Anglican rector. You have to understand my background to understand this next statement: I was shocked to find that he was...well...a Christian. End result: I fell "in love" with this 70-something year old Scottish man and stuck to him like glue all over the countryside of Great Britain. By the end of the trip, I am sure that he was quite ready for me and all my questions to return to the other side of the pond!

As he took me to places like St. Paul's Cathedral, Westminster Abbey, and Canterbury he patiently explained to me all the significance of the different things we were observing. I remember, at the beginning of the trip, standing with him in York Minster and asking "Doesn't all this seem rather a waste? Think of all the starving peasants who gave to build this edifice...couldn't that money have gone to better things?"

Have you ever been yelled at by an elderly Anglican minister? It's not a lovely experience. He began to point out to me how the height of the ceiling naturally lifts the eyes heavenward. Did I not think that these people who lived in mud all their lives needed something to pull their eyes upward? He gestured to the beautiful stained glass that told the stories of Jesus' life and ministry and reminded me that my precious books would have meant little to these people who couldn't read but could come and learn of God's love and the existence of beauty in the world through the architecture of the Cathedrals. Did I not realize that every aspect of this building and its services had been painstakingly planned and developed to attempt to import some of the creative majesty of the Almighty to this terrestial existence? I was sternly rebuked.

He made his point. It was on this study adventure that I began to realize that I had much to learn about God and about worship. That there was wisdom, depth, and a reverence that I was not experiencing and that, just perhaps, there might be something I could learn from the historical church experience.

A few years ago I read "Evangelicals on the Canterbury Trail" by Robert Webber and realized that I am not alone in this learning process.

Now, before anyone gets too excited and writes me off as having "gone over" to the Ecumenical Dark Side and starts checking for my name at the World Council of Churches website, hear me on this: I am Pentecostal through and through. If it was reasonable, I would paint my house turquoise (only people in Springfield would get that one). I am a member of the Stanley Horton Fan Club. However, I am open to the very real possibility that God's people are much bigger than our movement and that, perhaps, resources like The Book of Common Prayer might be actually beneficial to me in my devotional life.

Anyway, I wrote all this to explain why this year I have decided to participate in the liturgical lenten season. It's a new experience for me and it may be the only time I ever do it. But, then again, maybe this will be a regular thing for me. I will be blogging on it through the next few months. I already have some great notes from the Ash Wednesday service last week at St. Cecilia's Cathedral in Omaha. I'm looking forward to sharing with you the things that I am learning on this journey.

And, I'm sure, my elderly Anglican rector friend would look down at me and say, "You have much to learn, Grasshopper."

Upcoming blogs

2009-02-28T20:06:00.000-08:00

Hopefully, I will get to my blog on Sunday or Monday at the latest...it's been SO busy! I've been taking some notes on my journey as an evangelical in keeping up with the liturgical calendar. Got some great stuff to share with you! Keep checking back!

Blessings!
Ruthie

Adultery isn't just wrong; it's stupid!

2009-02-14T06:42:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day! I have writer's block this morning so I've pulled this out of my files. I wrote this after reading an article in "Leadership" Magazine by Randy Alcorn and before I got married. Much of this list I took directly from him but I added to it and tweaked it some. It has evolved since I first started it 21 years ago.

This list has reminded me several times of some of the practical reasons to stay faithful to my husband by reminding me of the consequences of adultery. We live in a culture that gives us so many encouragements to be unfaithful...but they do not usually show us the consequences of adultery. So...without further ado...

21 consequences in my life should I choose to commit adultery...

1. Grieving my Redeemer who has already forgiven me of so many sins
2. Causing shame upon the sacred name of God and the calling of the ministry
3. Following in the footsteps of others whose immorality forfeited their marriages or ministries and caused great pain to the body of Christ : (there is a list of names in my personal file that, sadly, over the years has grown - I keep the list not to shame them but to remind me)
4. Inflicting untold hurt on Shawn, the man I’ve promised to cherish and be faithful to and losing his trust and respect as well as the wonderful freedom we have known in our marriage.
5. Crushing my beloved children, Erik, Corrie, and Gracie and having to explain to them "why we aren't pastor's anymore."
6. Destroying my example and credibility with my children and crippling future efforts to teach them to obey God in every area of their lives.
7. If Shawn be unable to forgive me, I could lose my marriage and my family forever.
8. I would lose respect for myself and create a guilt hard to shake. Even if God, Shawn, and the kids forgive me, would I be able to forgive myself?
9. Forming memories that would plague future intimacy with my husband, both on my part and his.
10. Forfeiting years of rewarding ministry, possibly permanently.
11. Forfeiting my ministerial credentials and the respect of my fellow ministers in the Assemblies of God (list of names of men and women whose respect I desire)
12. Forfeiting the effect of years of witnessing to my best friend, "M", and encouraging her to continue in immorality.
13. Undermining the faithful example of other Christians.
14. Bringing great pleasure to Satan, the enemy of my soul.
15. Possibly destroying the family of the person with whom I committed adultery and knowing that I was a “home wrecker.”
16. Possibly bearing in my body the effects of my sin with sexually transmitted diseases. Possibly infecting Shawn, and in the case of AIDS, causing his death.
17. Possibly facing the effects of a pregnancy with its personal, financial and family obligations.
18. Bringing shame to members of my church (list names):
19. Causing shame and hurt to these friends, whom I have taught, discipled, or led to Christ: (list names).
20. Bringing shame and embarrassment to my parents, uncle and aunt, and brother and sister whom I want to be proud of me.
21. Invoking shame and lifelong embarrassment upon myself.

If I choose to commit adultery it wouldn't just be wrong, it would be stupid.

Don't chase the snake! Get rid of the poison!

2009-02-05T19:02:00.000-08:00

Not too long ago I had to take a first aid course at Iowa Western Community College; actually, I had to take a Physical Education course and this sounded like the one most down my alley since it didn't involve much strenuous activity!

One of the things we learned about was snake bites. According to our book, one of the worst things you can do after being bitten by a snake is to try to chase the snake to kill it yourself. Apparently, when you do that the poison works it way through your circulatory system more quickly because of the exertion. You would do better to lie quietly and do something about the poison that's already inside you due to the bite than to go running after the snake.

I have been thinking about this. There have been times in my life when it felt like I had been bitten by a "snake." Someone with an unkind word, rude remark, or just plain meanness left me feeling as if I had just been "bit." In those brief moments following those times, I have a choice to make as to how I will respond: will I chase after the "snake" or work on ridding myself of any "poison" that might be working its way through me due to the "bite."

The natural reaction is, of course, to take revenge on the snake but catching it is unlikely and the chase only serves to strengthen the potency of the poison.

So that leaves me with another option - take some time to take care of myself and get the poison out! How do we do this? Jesus gives us some great advice in Luke 6, when He tells us to love our enemies. He gives four specific actions to tell us exactly what to do. We are to "do good to them, to bless them, pray for them, and give to them."

Why? He knows that our natural tendency when we have an "enemy" is to want to punish, retaliate, defend ourselves, and seek revenge. We want them to hurt like they have hurt us. But, in doing this, the one we most often end up hurting is ourselves! How many nights of sleep have you lost thinking over past "bites" when the one who "bit" you is home fast asleep? Who's being punished here?

That's why Jesus gives us an alternative. Doing good, blessing, praying, and giving are antidotes for the poisons in my spiritual bloodstream. Is there someone who has "bitten" you? Are you spending so much energy chasing them that the poison has worked it's way through your system and you're so drained that you just can't find healing? Ask the Lord to show you how doing good, blessing, praying, and giving might just be the antidote you're looking for!

Hang in there! We're all in this together!

January 20, 2009

2009-01-20T10:19:00.001-08:00

Today is a day that will go down in history! I am excited that our nation has come to a point that we have felt free to elect a black man to the highest office of our nation. It is a day that I hope men like Frederick Douglas, Booker T. Washington, and Martin Luther King, Jr. are looking down on our nation rejoicing in knowing that a small part of the fulfillment of "the dream" is now reality. Perhaps, somewhere in the great unknown, Harriet Tubman and Sojourner Truth are hugging each other and praising God that, perhaps, we are closer to the understanding that the equality of humanity is not based upon skin pigmentation but upon the sacred image of God endowed by man's Creator. I believe that is great news for America...God wept for our future when we rejected the black man as our brother and passed laws that enslaved him and designated him as one with "no rights that any white man was bound to respect."

I remember the frustration in my mind as a little girl visiting a man in my home state of Texas. As he sat in the filthy, unkept house that he had provided for his family through the on-again, off-again jobs he had managed to acquire and lose in rapid succession, he told me that I needed to understand that "all black men are lazy and are only after our white women." History shows us that the ability to be lazy and a scoundrel is not dependent on one's skin color. I have known black men who were wretched and I have known white men who were wretched...when God looks at them he doesn't see a wretched black man or a wretched white men...He simply sees a wretched man in need of a Savior...and so should we.

But I also wonder if Douglas, Washington, King, Tubman, and Truth did not also weep as they saw the divided country that this man has been appointed to lead. We are fully aware that there were those who voted for Obama because he is a black man...is that any different than refusing to vote for him based on the color of his skin? Either way we are still judging a man by his color rather than by his character. We are still a divided nation as we continue to reap what was sown so many years ago - we sowed seeds of division, hatred, and bitterness and we will continue to reap it until we have fully repented as a nation of our continued refusal to see each human, - male or female, black or white, Asian or Hispanic, born or unborn - as a Creation of God Almighty and, therefore, worthy of respect, honor, dignity, and protection of law. We obviously are not at that point with our view of unborn babies, be they black, white, male or female. And our new president has sworn to make it easier to discriminate against these members of humanity based, not on their color, but on their residence: the womb. Nope, we're not at that place of full equality based solely on being an Image Bearer just yet.

Let's pray for our new president...God alone knows what the future holds for the nation that he is leading.

Unpack that Camel!

2009-01-14T06:02:00.000-08:00

My friend, Rhonda, put this note on her facebook recently:

"This is an excerpt from a teaching by Perry Stone. I thought it worthy of sharing.

“Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven. And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.” - Matthew 19:23-24

In the English language we see a “needle’s eye” as the small opening in a sewing needle through which a piece of thread is pulled. Can you see a camel attempting to go through such an opening? Actually Jesus did not have a sewing needle in mind.

In the Ancient time every city had gates. Some were made of wood but many were iron or a combination of wood and iron (Isaiah 45:1). These large gates were shut at night and no one was permitted to enter or exit unless it was an important person. There were also watchmen placed on the wall to guard against invading armies. A small door was placed within the large doors that would permit someone to enter or exit in the event of an emergency or because of a definite need or purpose. This small door was called the “needle’s eye.” Jesus said it was difficult for a camel to go through the eye of the needle. Camels are a very tall animal with a very long neck and were often laden down with large bags to transport wheat, charcoal, wood and other important commodities into the town every day.

A burdened down camel carrying these loads cannot possibly enter the eye of the needle without unloading its burdens! Jesus was saying that those who are extremely rich are so burdened down with the cares of life and riches that unless they unload themselves from the many cares of life, they will have difficulty entering the kingdom, just like a camel who is burdened down with its load cannot enter into the narrow opening in the city gate.

A camel needs a BROAD road to carry its load but Jesus taught the road leading to life is very narrow. This is just one of many examples of understanding the unusual and difficult words of Jesus."

I think that too many times we don't think of ourselves as "rich" because, by American standards, most of us are just "middle class." But if we viewed ourselves by world standards...we are all very rich. We each have our own home, cars, hobbies, etc. For much of the world these things are available to only the wealthy.

I know that I find myself so burdened down with carrying all the "things" that I have to do because of my wealth - the house must be cleaned, the car maintained, all the work that comes from the hobbies (since my hobby is books...they must be organized, cared for, and , on occasion, I need to read them. LOL) These are the kinds of things that I often find pulling me away from my time with God and intimacy with Him. Once again I need to "unpack this camel" and lay down the burdens of life to enter into the presence of God...or I will find myself outside the gate...with nothing to show for it except burdens. Ouch.

Thoughts following National Adoption Day

2008-12-19T10:32:00.000-08:00

Since part of my job with the State of Iowa is to try to "hook up" children with families who will help to meet their needs, I LOVE stories about adoption!

I met a family at Adoption Day this year who has now adopted six wonderful children. Now, honestly, most people would not have said these children were wonderful at first glance. They came with some BIG issues! But to talk to this mom and dad for just a few minutes and you would really believe that these are the most wonderful children in the world.

I have another friend who recently adopted a 16 year old girl, "B." B. has been in more group homes than any law ought to allow and hit her 15th birthday with no family and no where to go. Once you hit your teens your chances of adoption are close to nil. I am so glad that now, when B. graduates next year she will launch out into life knowing that there are people that she can always come home to!

Adoption is not easy...with our birth children at least we know that most of their "issues" are issues we have helped them develop! LOL With adoption, especially adoptions out of the foster care system, you take into your home and heart not only a child but their past, good and bad, and show them the love only a parent can give.

My favorite adoption story of all is that when Jesus saw me with all my behavioral management issues (ie, sin), and my family of origin issues (ie, original and generational sin), He still stood before the Judge and said, loudly and proudly for all to hear, "I want Ruthie to be my daughter and be part of my forever family." To top it all off, He has never treated me as anything less than a natural born child! Not too shabby for somebody with all my "issues."

One of those forwarded quizzes...Tis the Season!

2008-11-21T07:43:00.000-08:00

I got this from my friend, Wanda, to fill out. I almost never do these things because they usually promise me that if I will do it that I will meet my true love by Friday and if I don't I will die a horrible death by next Tuesday. (really...no joke..."we knew this boy in Indiana who didn't forward it and was found under his bed killed by a clown doll"...whatever.) But I figured this would be a good way to begin the holiday season...so here is "the forward quiz"

Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your friends. Okay, here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be a SCROOGE!!! Just copy (not forward) this entire email and paste into a new e-mail that
you can send. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know, INCLUDING the person that
sent it to you......Tis the Season!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? It depends on what people gave me last year…I re-use the bags. “El-cheapo”

2. Real tree or Artificial? I like the smell of the real tree but the convenience of the artificial…so I put up the artificial and light a candle.

3. When do you put up the tree? The day after Thanksgiving…major big tradition…then we eat Taco Soup on the Christmas china.

4. When do you take the tree down? The day after Epiphany

5. Do you like eggnog? I cannot convince myself to drink something with raw eggs…sorry.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? A Baby Alive…but I put milk in her bottle and when she drank it soured inside and she smelled really bad…but I still loved her.

7. Hardest person to buy for? What’s hard to buy…give everyone a book!

8. Easiest person to buy for? Me

9.Do you have a nativity scene? Have several…my favorite one is a toy set that we got when the kids were little…Erik chewed off one of the shepherd’s feet but it’s still a treasure

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Gasp…do people EMAIL Christmas cards? I do those wonderfully impersonal letters…but I try to write something on the bottom of each.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? 2 shirts that were the same…I tried to give one to a girl in the neighborhood when her house burned down but my step-mother told me that was an “ungrateful thing to do” (give away a gift) so she took it away. I found it in her closet (still had the tags) when she died 22 years later. Amazing!

12.Christmas Movie? It’s A Wonderful Life (Christmas Story is a close runner-up…I love the part where Ralphie goes to see Santa)

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? The day after Christmas when all the stuff is on clearance

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Ummm…yes…but please don’t tell my step-mother when you get to Heaven.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? The fancy chocolates that I get every year…I make them last at least until March

16. Lights: Clear or Multicolored? I like the kind that work the first time you put them up

17. Favorite Christmas song? Hmmm…I LOVE Christmas music…this is a toughie…Probably “Thou Didst Leave Thy Throne”

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? I like to be home at Christmas…I think it comes from being a child of divorce and being in the middle of custody arrangements at the holidays…I like knowing that I can just stay home if I want to. SO THERE!

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? I just tried and couldn’t…Have you heard the great classic carol “Leroy, the Redneck Reindeer”? It’s wonderful…right up there with “Thou Didst Leave Thy Throne.”

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? A big shimmery bow with long ribbons

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Both; we open a few Christmas Eve and then play with them and then finish up on Christmas morning

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? People corrupting other people’s children by sending them Christmas music BEFORE Thanksgiving (you know who you are!!!)

23. Favorite ornament, theme, or color? Angels…and the homemade ones my kids make

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Slow-cooked brisket, cheesy potatoes, sweet potato pie, cranberry salad (with strawberries because the cranberries are too strong)

25. What do you want for Christmas this year? To enjoy my family for the remaining years that I have them

Ruthie o

Leadership Lessons from the Recent Presidential Process

2008-11-13T09:48:00.000-08:00

I have been involved in a Leadership Summit group since July with my work with Lutheran Services. I've been thinking about some of the things that we are learning as we study "The Leadership Challenge" and how it relates to what we've been watching over the past few months in the presidential race. I don't usually comment much on politics but here are some observations (with thanks to some thoughts from Kevin Eikenberry's leadership principles):

1. Development of future leaders must become a priority of any organization. Anybody who has studied leadership knows that this is fundamental. And yet...each time another election rolls around both of our national parties seems to struggle to produce one leader that unites the party from the beginning. Instead, we see a large group of small fish fighting over who gets to be the big fish in the pond.

2. For any organization to truly succeed its members must be "on the same page...at the same time." We have talked about how our country is divided and yet our two parties seem to be as divided as our country. As an Independent, I watched the two major parties produce candidates that tore each other apart and then, after the nomination was sealed, tried to convince me that "this person (whom I publicly tore to pieces last week) is now the best hope for our country." If any other organization ran its business like that it would lose the trust of its customer base very quickly. True leaders recognize that the competition is not internal...it is external. Every moment that we spend in hostile competition with our colleagues is a moment that remains undevoted to the true purpose of the existence of the organization. In my area of work with non-profits and churches, this is an area that is causing us as much damage as it did our political parties.

3. Leaders know that they must create safe opportunities for people to practice, grow and to fail. I have come to admire Sarah Palin over the past few months. Here was a lady with definite strengths in public speaking and presentation; yet many felt that she did not seem to have been adequately prepared for someone like Katie Couric. There were discussions, at least in the media, that the RNC was considering not letting Sarah take on engagements that would not portray her in the best light. Nonsense! If you have placed someone in that position you must be willing to give them the tools and the opportunities to grow into that position and create an atmosphere where there is safety, even in failure. Unfortunately, our country does not seem willing to allow people to spread their wings...and then fall. We have created a culture of vultures circling the skies waiting for their next meal. Personally, I liked Ms. Palin very much and thought she added to McCain's ticket.

4. Leaders know that the success of their vision for their organization is more valuable than their own personal success. This is an area that I think George W. Bush did well during this process. He knew that his own unpopularity made him a possible detriment to his party's candidate; and therefore, he went about doing his job as president and didn't spend an inordinate amount of time on the campaign trail. There comes a time for us as leaders that we must realize that a part of our job is to train someone else to be ready to take our job...and to know how to graciously turn over the reins. There are some who will hold on to their own power so long that they become an embarrasment and a detriment to the vision of their organization.

I am praying that, as I seek to develop my own leadership abilities so that I can influence people to grow in grace and truth, that I will learn from those around me...in the areas where we do well and in the areas where we still have need of improvement.

Until Heaven...we're all in this together!

bittersweet thoughts

2008-11-10T09:20:00.000-08:00

What a time it has been since I last posted! I have spent the last week fighting a bronchial infection and finally gave up the fight last Thursday and just went to bed! Now I'm back up...but something happens to a house when momma is down...so there's plenty of work to do!

The election has come and gone. Come next January we will have a new president. According to Scripture, we are to pray for those in authority and show respect for their office. Let's do that whether we voted for him or not. I cannot imagine filling that office at this time in history. The Bible tells me that the heart of the king is in the hands of God and I will trust that.

Today is a bit of a bittersweet day - little V who has lived with us since he was 8 months old is leaving for his adoptive home. This is a good thing since he will be able to be with a forever family and they are also taking his older sister who is 5 so that they will stay together. HOORAY! He is such a precious little fellow that he will be a blessing to their family even though he has developed in to a VERY active toddler.

But it is bittersweet for our family...especially my girls who have become very attached to him. We come into foster care knowing that the vision that God has given us with this ministry is to strengthen families who may be struggling and assist them in growing into a more healthy family unit. In doing this, I really like to get to know the birth families and spend time with them. After all, our community is only as strong as its families.

But sometimes, as in V's case, things don't work out for him to go home. I am thankful that there are those families who are willing to open their hearts and homes to children in crises and give them that forever family.

We all work together in this system: foster families who provide a family setting for children and work to get them back home and families who commit to raising those children when they don't go back.

Either way it is an adventure...I thank God for the opportunity that He has given me to reach into the lives of the children in my community...even though sometimes it is bittersweet!

Hang in there! We're all in this together!

Man jumps off bridge; leaves note for Obama

2008-11-01T07:06:00.000-07:00

Allright - I think today's post will be a rant:

I try to keep up with some of the happenings in my home state of Texas...and this one is just sad.

Yesterday (October 31, 2008) a 52 year old man jumped off the "Spaghetti Bowl" (this is a place where several highway interchanges meet and they usually stack up over each other) in El Paso and left behind a note to Barack Obama saying "Obama - Please take care of my family."

I don't know anything about this man (his name hasn't even been released), nor do I normally comment on things like this because of the pain that people are experiencing at the time. Typically prayer and support are the order of the day and I truly hope that this family is receiving that. I have buried family members who died at their own hand and I know the pain, confusion and guilt that it brings so please don't write me that I have no compassion.

But here's where this story frustrates me: What a sad day when a husband and father feels so lost and incapable that he feels free to remove himself from the lives of his wife and children and turn them over to the care of big government. Is this the end result thinking of socialism - "I refuse to take responsibility for my family - that's why the government exists." Here's a thought: It's NOT the government's responsibility to take care of our families - that responsibility belongs to us. It doesn't take a village to raise a child - it takes a family. The thing that we see across our country that so scares and saddens me is that many of our moms and dads are willing to stop doing what moms and dads need to do and capitulate that responsibility to someone else.

Yes, sometimes we need other people to help us out in hard times but I know that as a mom when it comes to the care of my family "The Buck Stops Here." This is my home, my husband, and my kids...and it's my job to take care of them to the best of my ability and with the help of God.

Just my two-cents worth.

new blog

2008-10-31T05:53:00.000-07:00

Since this blog is connected to the church website and so, therefore, I feel like most of the time it really should have some sort of "point" to it I am creating another blog called personal ramblings for just the keeping up with life sort of stuff.

You can find it from this blog by clicking on my profile pic and it will take you to where you can find the other one.

http://ruthiesramblings2.blogspot.com/

Thanks! We're all in this together!

Mom comes to visit

2008-10-28T10:07:00.000-07:00

Wow...it's been so long since I've written. I think at least two weeks or something like that.

My mom came to visit over the past week. There is enough material in that to fill up a month's worth of blogs. I think today I will just let thoughts flow and see where we end up. So don't expect any great point to this one... LOL

I never would have dreamed that Mom would come here. Her health has prevented it and the doctor wasn't real keen on the idea but my mother is as stubborn as they come and once she gets it in her mind to do something she will do it regardless of what wisdom or anyone else would say.

She had a few things that she wanted to get done before she dies. She had a terminal diagnosis about 4 years ago (6 months, or less, they said). She decided to get everything ready to die - which we did. Then once it was all done she decided she might as well keep living. Go figure.

Mom left me and Dad when I was 11 years old. She had never been quite mentally stable - consistent struggles with depression and anger. Her mother abandoned her when she was a baby and she never quite got over that. Her mother was not a stable person either.

It's hard to know, emotionally, just how to feel about my mom. She wasn't a bad mom at all when she was around. She was actually pretty good at it; I really don't have any bad memories of my childhood relationship with my mother (other than that she was a yeller). But she just wasn't there during so many times that I needed her that the bond really did suffer. I cried myself to sleep so many nights as a teenager - really needing a mom. I know she would liked to have been there - and perhaps would have given anything she had at that point to be there - but the fact remains that due to choices and circumstances she just wasn't there.

I'm not sure which of us felt more pain in that situation - me or her. I know that now, as a mom, I would be devastated to be kept away from my daughters when they needed me, even if I had made bad choices.

I think I'll continue the saga of mom's visit over the next few days. I felt so many different emotions over the past week- joy, pride, sorrow, anger, frustration, confusion, laughter...
It will be interesting to sort through it all!

Life in the fast lane...

2008-10-14T18:25:00.000-07:00

The Eagles used to sing (or maybe they still do?) that "life in the fast lane will slowly make you lose your mind."

It has sure felt like I've been living and driving in that fast lane lately. It seems like I am constantly in the car driving someone somewhere...BUT life is fixing to change forever! As of this coming weekend I should have another driver in the household! YES!!!!!! Erik gets his license this week!!! Great rejoicing!

Some parents dread this moment but I have been looking forward to it for a long time. Another driver to do errands, take siblings to the hundreds of activities they seem to get themselves involved in, make some of the school runs...etc.

I would love to hear from other people who have had a new driver in the house - what was your experience? Good, bad, or indifferent? Do you stay up at night worrying or are you breathing a sigh of relief that they are growing up? Am I kidding myself that this is a momentous moment of joy?

Corrie is already doing a lot of driving with her permit but I have to be with her. In a few days, Erik will be on his own. Watch out, Council Bluffs...here he comes! And I, for one, am proud of him and think he'll do a great job.

(Speaking of job - he better get one to pay for the insurance. YIKES! Good thing he's got good grades!)

A wolf and his pack

2008-10-08T08:39:00.000-07:00

One of the neat things about being involved with the kids education is that I am reading, re-reading, and finally reading some great literature. I came across this line in Kipling's The Law of the Jungle just this morning:

Now this is the Law of the Jungle -- as old and as true as the sky;
And the Wolf that shall keep it may prosper, but the Wolf that shall break it must die.
As the creeper that girdles the tree-trunk the Law runneth forward and back --
For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.

I've been thinking this morning about the many ways this applies to my family, my church, my job, especially this particular thought: when one suffers we all suffer; when one is successful we all are successful.

The scriptures tell us to"bear one anothers burdens, and in so doing, fulfill the Law of Christ." Sounds pretty close to Kipling's observation of the natural order of the Law of the Jungle.

Lord, help me today to remember the importance of each individual in my "pack" and help me as an individual to so do my part to make my "pack" a bastion of strength in this jungle in which we are living.

Thanks, Rudyard, for a great quote!

We're all in this together!

...rest...

2008-10-03T11:40:00.000-07:00

Something has just occurred to me as I returned home after teaching my first period class and then rushing to speak to a group of women at the United Methodist church here in town...I sat down on the couch and realized that I have NOTHING pressing on the schedule for the next 48 hours! Outside of a small presentation (that won't require much prep) Sunday afternoon at the Nazarene church, I AM FREE!

So what shall I do with my time? ...well, I did call a friend who is struggling physically (she goes back to the Dr. on Tuesday and they have mentioned the "C" word: chemo) and she has just found that her daughter - who has very thick hair - has head lice. So I'll spend a few hours "nit-picking" tomorrow for my precious friend who has helped me out in many pinches...make a few phone calls to some people that I have been meaning to get back to and check up on how they are doing...and probably attend the HomeBuilders hayride at Russ and Courtney's folks' house...and tonight I might even finish that movie that I've been working on for the past few weeks ( I just can't seem to stay awake long enough to finish!!!)

I don't even have to prepare for Sunday School!!!

Just some time to spend with the family...

"Thank you, Lord, for these occasional breaks in the schedule! You know when I need them!"

I Have Grounds for Divorce!!!

2008-09-29T11:19:00.000-07:00

Next May marks 20 years of marriage for me...and for my husband, too, because this was the first marriage for both of us. We went about it in a strange way. Neither of us had been married before, neither of us had any children, and we decided that May 5, 1989 would be the first time we would "sleep together." We didn't have any testing for disease and we were not smart enough to do background checks on each other. We also didn't draft a pre-nuptial agreement. Certainly, by society's standards, we were not very smart. There were so many ways that we didn't "check each other out" before walking down the aisle at Oak Grove Assembly of God in Springfield, MO. It could have been a disaster.

Now after 20 years of marriage and three children together, I realize that I have legal grounds for divorce. Would you believe that after all this time and experience I have discovered that my marriage has a terminal disease: irreconcilable differences! If only I had known 20 years ago that there would be differences between Shawn and I that we would not be able to be overcome! I could have looked a little longer and harder and found someone...well... just like me!

This was, after all, a mixed marriage. He is a Yankee and I am a Southerner. This alone should have given me pause. He wants to eat bratwurst rather than brisket and he grew up listening to The Beatles rather than Johnny Cash. I can't stand to be late and he thinks the clock on the wall is for "decorative purposes only." He is a very disciplined morning riser and I hide under the covers and press "snooze" far more than any reasonable person should.

He would rather watch a football game than read a good novel and prefers the temperature of the house and car to be somewhat comparable to the polar bear exhibit at the zoo. The differences in our personalities have caused more than one person to ask, "How in the world did the two of you ever get together?"

More important is the question, "How have we STAYED together?" At least four major things have kept us together, regardless of our different likes, dislikes, and personalities:
1. Core values have been developed together: parenting, money management, spiritual values, etc
2. Compromise on the inconsequential things and working slowly through those things that carry bigger consequences...and willingness to ask for help
3. Learning to enjoy new things...and even tolerate (without complaining) a few things that we just can't learn to like
4. Understand that variety is the spice of life and allow each other freedom to enjoy things that the other may not care for...but keeping most of the enjoyment in life focused on the things we can do together

We're making enough progress that we won't be using those legal grounds for divorce any time soon...he's learned to love PBS and, just the other day, I ate a bratwurst without complaint. Have there been times when the only thing that kept us together was sheer commitment to vows? Sure! But those times come and go...the core values that have kept us together - faithfulness, honesty, and forgiveness - have stayed steady.

If you're in a marriage and feeling "incompatible," take a deep breath and begin to look for the blessings in your incompatibility. They are there - just sometimes hidden under all the junk life throws on us. Build on your strengths together, acknowledge and work through your needs, and realize that while society says that incompatibility is grounds for divorce God can make it grounds for a great marriage!

I love you, Frog!!!

Thoughts on Erik's Birthday - He's 17!

2008-09-24T08:33:00.000-07:00

He's upstairs conjugating Latin verbs...and I am thinking about how my life has changed over 17 years of parenting this gift of God that is my son, and how life will be changing again now that he is beginning to move into adulthood.

We gave him his dad's '99 Oldsmobile for his birthday - along with a gift certificate for "mechanic lessons" from Brent Stokes...and Folio Society's Tolkien collection. All in all, not a bad haul for a 17 year old.

One more year and society will dub him "adult." Am I ready for that? More importantly, is HE ready for that? There are so many things I want to "cram" in to the next few months...and yet, he is at that place in life where most of the valuable lessons have already been taught, he must now learn to apply them. I've tried to teach him the important things, such as "money is closely connected with sweat," "God may look on the heart, but man looks on the outward appearance so GET A HAIRCUT," "inner discipline will take you farther than natural talent," and "choose a woman that you would want your daughter to emulate...because she will," and so many other little life lessons.

Yet as important as knowledge is it will not serve him well if it doesn't translate into wisdom. That is what I have prayed for 17 years: "God, give this young man wisdom and discernment." Knowledge is useless if he doesn't know how to apply it to life...that is where wisdom comes in.

There's a passage in the Bible that I have come back to many times as a mom. Exodus 2:2-4 talks about Moses' mother who "...gave birth to a son and when she saw that he was a fine child, she hid him...but when she saw that she could hide him no longer, she got a papyrus basket for him and coated it with protection and placed the child in it and put it among the reeds along the Nile, then...stood at a distance to see what would happen to him."

This has been what I have tried to do as a mom. Through these early years I have tried to protect him from the things that would seek to destroy him. But there comes a time when we can "hide" them from those things no longer. So we make preparation for their success outside of our care...we build a basket of the things that God has provided for us - love, education, discipline, prayer, training in righteousness - and then at the right time we place them into the river of life and watch from a distance to see how things turn out.

I am sure Moses' mother was much more aware of the dangers in the Nile River than little Moses was. There were scary animals and scary people who would have thought nothing of tearing this little baby to shreds. There was the matter of sustenance and protection from the elements. But she knew that there was God who loved her baby and so she stood back and let God take it from there.

There comes a time in our mothering when we can no longer hide our babies from the scary realities of life so we must place them in the protective coverings we have provided, let them go into the river, and stand back and let their dependence be on God instead of on us.

But I believe that Moses' mama was praying like never before...and so am I.

finding wisdom right in my own backyard

2008-09-19T07:06:00.001-07:00

This blogging thing has been so enlightening...and I have only been at it for two days!

As other people are finding the blog they have shared links to their own writings. As I have read some of their posts I have been amazed at the wisdom that is resident within my own circle of friends...Al, Gloria, Russ, Jen, etc. You guys have great writing and communication skills...but what has been most exciting is the practical wisdom I am learning from you!

I think that sometimes, as a pastor/pastor's wife, I get so used to people coming to me for "wisdom" that when I am in need I tend to not know where to turn. My tendency is to head to a library and look for a book or do a "google" search and see what some expert has to say.

What a dunderhead I am! God has given me a great circle of friends...and thanks to the wonders of the internet I am able to contact friends from all over the world! "Lord, remind me of this when I just need an ear or some advice...you have given me such good friends. Teach me to stay in better contact and learn from them."

I'm proud of my circle of friends! We're all in this together!

Follow-up thoughts on Ray Boltz blog

2008-09-17T12:35:00.000-07:00

Here's some follow-up thoughts to the previous blog on Ray Boltz:

Was there no one in Ray's life in his 30 years of Christian marriage and ministry that he felt safe enough to confide in?

The concept of accountability is so important in the Church as is building a SAFE place for that accountability. Why is it in the Christian community that we feel that we cannot share our struggles until AFTER we have "victory" and have it all wrapped up in a nice little "testimony" OR until we have been overcome by our sin and discovered? How many times have I heard someone say "Lately I've been going through this horrible temptation but now I'm doing great" and I have wondered how we can build an environment that we feel free to say "I'm struggling NOW with this temptation and I need help, prayer, and support." Ray's story tells us that there are those all around us who really are hurting and struggling but do not feel safe to share those struggles because of the response that they (often rightly) fear will come. So we hide our struggles and do not bear each other's burdens.

I remember a few years ago at District Council that Dick Hardy stood and talked about the struggle that many pastor's have with internet pornography and he mentioned that if you called and talked to him as the HonorBound director that your credentials would not be automatically in jeopardy because he wanted to see ministers get HELP to overcome rather than waiting until it is too late.

While I am not ready to advocate a return to the RCC concept of the "confessional booth" I think creating an environment where confession is taken seriously and people then receive loving accountability and the healing that the church CAN offer is a worthy goal- when we don't know the struggle it is difficult to help.

Any thoughts?

After all...we're all in this together!

A "Boltz" of Lightning on the CCM news front

2008-09-17T06:31:00.000-07:00

I remember the first time I heard a Ray Boltz song. I was driving down National in Springfield, MO and the song "Watch the Lamb" played on the radio. I literally got so caught up in the story of the song that I pulled over and finished listening so I could focus on the story. I was close to tears at the end when the song made the final correlation of Jesus as THE Lamb. It is beautiful writing and well presented. I have used the song many times as a "human video" around Good Friday. (On a side note - I did this song for a presbyterian church in LeClaire, IA and they reported to the Quad City Times that "Ruthie Oberg, pastor's wife at First Assembly of God will be doing an interpretive dance at First Presbyterian." Russ Kinney saw it in the paper and called to ask why I was dancing for presbyterians.)

I also remember the incredible feeling of grace as I listened to "The Anchor Holds" sung at Virginia Wenig's funeral several years ago. The lady singing had recently lost her young missionary husband to cancer and she prefaced the song with "I have sung this song many times while standing on the shore to encourage others out in the boat...but lately I have sung this song from within the boat itself and I still find that the anchor holds." Beautiful!

With all that said, I found it interesting to find so much discussion of what place Ray's music should hold in the church now that he has left his wife of 30 years and come out as "a normal gay man." http://washblade.com/2008/9-12/arts/feature/13258.cfm?CFID=17404355&CFTOKEN=75650803

I remember this same discussion when I was at Central Bible College in 1988 when the news of the Jimmy Swaggart debacle hit the airwaves. "Should we play Jimmy's songs on the radio? Has everything that he has ever done now count for nothing?" These are the questions some Christians are asking now about Ray Boltz.

Here's my humble opinion: Truth is Truth and it is not dependent on the lifestyle of the person singing. A song that had a positive truth value 10 years ago still has that same truth value today regardless of who is singing it. If we were to throw out everything that has been written or sung by someone who has later confessed to sin...well, let's throw out half the hymnal, most of our sermons, and certainly the books of Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, and the Song of Solomon...there's no real biblical proof that Solomon ever did repent and he pulled some REAL lulu's...(passing his sons through the fire, etc.)

Now all that said, I am one who prefers that the lifestyle of the person singing matches up with what they are singing about. For example, everyone who knows me knows that I LOVE country music. This morning bringing the kids to school I had in a CD of Willie Nelson singing "On the Road Again." A great song for Willie to sing! But, for some reason, I usually press skip when he sings "Amazing Grace." Now I love the song Amazing Grace and I like Willie Nelson but for Amazing Grace to carry meaning for me it helps to know that the person singing it would truly testify to living a life that was "lost but now is found." I don't know that Willie has reached that point in his long life and therefore, the song is just a "good classic gospel song" rather than a testimony of what he has experienced in his own life.

SO...what about Ray Boltz? I'll keep his CD's and still play them and probably still use his songs. They are good songs...but it will be with a tinge of sadness for him and for others like him who feel that the only way to be "themselves" is to pretend that everything is OK when it truly isn't...which it what he says he has been doing for the last 30 years.

What are your thoughts?

Let's pray for each other...we're all in this together!

first blog

2008-09-16T15:32:00.001-07:00

Well...here goes. I've been meaning to do this for some time (start a blog, that is) but just haven't done it because I'm afraid that I won't be able to keep up with it!

Today has been a rather "blah" day. Just not feeling very good at all. Little V. has been sick and I think passed it on to me. Speaking of V. - he met his adoptive family last Sunday and things seemed to go well. They are willing to take his older sister (she is 5) and seem like a good match. I'm trusting the Lord that this will go well for them. He is so young (15 mos) and needs to be with a "forever family" as soon as possible. There are so many things about foster care that can be difficult!

C. is off to a volleyball game and I am fixing to take E. to Driver's Ed. I will be SO GLAD when I have another driver in the family...not looking forward to the cost but I am looking forward to the help. G. is just hanging around being herself. That's a good thing to be. S. is picking up supper since I feel like a 135 pound cement block.

My plans for this blog are to sometimes be serious, sometimes just journal, and sometimes just random writing. I thought about doing a blog for the church website but I think to start out I will just type my thoughts without having to feel like there is any point to be made. HA HA.

Thanks for listening...we're all in this together!